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Back in 2016-2017, I got my first ever hard cover book from the National Bookstore for 500+ php. It had this charming red cover with this adorable orange cat at the center. I was and still am fond of cats and I couldn't stop myself from lingering on the pages that had these fully colored photos that I absolutely adored. It was my favorite, second to my copy of The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe by C.S. Lewis.

Around that same year, our primary school had implemented a "Reading Time" where around 12 or 12:30 (after lunch), students were supervised in their respective classrooms as they read a book of their choice. Neither the teachers nor the nuns ever stated anything about what we could or couldn't read. So the books our class usually brought ranged from Greek mythology and fantasy to horror and physical copies of Wattpad novels. This actually made us, sixth graders, talk about what we had read with our friends and try on borrowing a book from others that we had an interest in. I emphasized that because I lent four books to four different people around that time. Three classmates and a cousin of mine from my mother's side of the family. Of those four books, one ended up ripped and torn in my relative's house and was almost unrecognizable when I found it lying on the floor. Another returned with a permanent stain on the hardcover, and two never came back to my hands ever again and that included my second favorite book.

This was years ago and from time to time, I'd find myself thinking about its blue hardcover, red dust jacket, and the orange cat looking back at me whenever I closed it after a reading session. It isn't just the story I'm trying to replace, it's the copy I remember holding as a kid. Now, I just spent the whole night looking for that same edition and fucked myself over with my sleeping schedule since I have a class at 7 to 10 am. I don't regret it. However, since it was an old edition, I recently found that it's already out of print. May it be from AbeBooks, Preloved Book Resellers on Insta and Facebook, Amazon, and other local online shops, its paperback was everywhere and only a few were the exact copy I was looking for within my budget.

Scholastic doesn't print them out anymore and I was devastated. Most of the sellers that have them are out of the country. Even if the price of the book is doable, it's the shipping fee that made it unobtainable for me. There was a silver lining, though and I discovered it from Amazon. The problem is I can't verify if they really have the edition I wanted because I haven't used that platform before and I can't just message the seller to try and request for a video to verify that it is a legitimate copy. For now, I am stuck between postponing my purchase for financial reasons or betting on it being the real deal. We'll see next week after I get the appropriate funds.