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my most toxic trait is that whenever i hold something you're meant to hit things with, i start feeling very different. Very powerful

My white ass would be corrupted by the demon blade so fast. Like you could not put me and the demon blade in the same room before i would be taking bodies and drinking the blood of former confidants

”Don’t touch the demon blade you’re going to be cursed by the demon blade” that’s just what holding a sword feels like

the morbius jokes got stale fast but sony misunderstanding them and rereleasing the movie only to cause it to lose even more money was an all timer moment. we couldnt recreate that situation if we tried

in the club balding

you can tell im 30-something because i bought a new brand of toothbrushes and im very pleased with them. toothbrushes generally have the same problem that tennis shoes for instance have in that they're overdesigned and consequently garish and ugly. but this is literally just a single piece of plastic, all one color, with a logo printed on it and white bristles. very tasteful. it's perfect.

i sound like fucking patrick bateman

I gently sponge Gay Tom Hardy down

I should lock the fuck in *half an hour passes* I should lock the fuck in *half an hour passes* I should lock the fuck in *half an hour passes* I should-

kitten I’ll be honest the finality of everything in this world haunts daddy like a second shadow

when you see the words girlhood girlie pop girl’s girl female experience and you immediately know you’re about to see something so completely unrelatable that it makes you feel like you’re on a different planet