savory salm salad

look! she came in through the window, 'n glimgroen takkie in haar hare laat haar koorsig voel, vasgevang binnehuis, binneglas, binnevenster,

i wish only to be a cat

i wish only to be a cat

my boys and girls on the peaked plateau of our youth,

April 2022

me at 20

Eventually, I’ve reached the last page of the yellow bound book. She now resides comfortably on my bookshelf instead of at the bottom of every other tabaco drizzle-filled bag I grab when leave the house. She has yearned to be seated comfortably between her paged friends and I regret keeping her away for so long. 

I have concluded that you should never be too busy to read, too old for an easter-egg hunt or to premature to take magic mushrooms.

I don’t know whether it was the fact that my window into Gillian and Damian’s turbulent lives was closed so abruptly. Or if by becoming a 21 year old adult before I reached the last yellow page elongated my time spent with them. Either way, they have managed to show me that life is crazy and you should never be too busy to look through the paged windows. 

Indringer in my bos

leave be,, leave me alone at the table                    for here i can be in love with the breeze              that calls for the trees to dance & every time they hear every time they move

But with you, the human 

I call louder 

& there is still no answer that I want

no comfort that I need

How would it be to be there with those trees. I’m sure it would be better than at your table

Protection jots past page 200

What a lovely lady. Grace. a brave swimmer, a soft lover, in the end a forgetful soul

a loss that we could not be protected from

Still they’re lives continue without protection form. We know Gillian doesn’t mind not staying in the same bed for this life. It has struck me that Damien finds this kind of indifference to infidelity depressing. 

the just sofar is that Gillian believed there were kinds of loyalty that were bigger than staying in the same bed all your life

i have felt large loyalties in my life that trump in the same sense that she describes

an honest swimmer being the most loyal act in my present

could you please stop looking at them

when i look in the mirror i feel like a sexy pussycat, a frisky fringed lady,, but as soon as my toes touch the sidewalk of society i contract

the truths are

she can't act as she wants because they're fucking with her while they're fucking her

ergo, she cries under the patriarchal stare & only soars when he's not there

now she is the cat with ears of defiance

a thief in the night