Savior Of Dawn

I’m no longer associated with @saviorofdusk​, and I’ve been spending the past few months recovering from the damage that was inflicted on me. 

Zee was a very emotionally and mentally abusive person. From forcing me to think as she does, to controlling the very people I would make friends with. She was constantly complain about how I was more approachable, and that people would interact with me more than her. Despite our blogs being connected. 

Admittedly, I wasn’t the best during this relationship either. And I’m willing to accept that I didn’t understand a lot of what was going on.

But it gets worse.

There was a very big age gap between us. With me being 21, and her being in her 30′s. Because of this, she acted as if she knew better than me. And used the fact that our blogs were associated with each other to keep me from interacting with others, and telling me that they were bad people - that she was right.

We had broken up once. I was the one to break it off, but she insisted that I could still talk to her. This is where the red flags were really showing for me. Because at the time, I was pretty torn up over it myself. Zee saw no reason for me to be upset because I was the one to cut it off. 

After talking to her more, I began to feel desperate. I was under a state of dependency and desperation that I wasn’t sure I could get out of. And we had gotten back together after I shamefully asked her to take me back. 

Okay, so the reason I broke up with her in the first place, was that she was pushing me for rp and threads and it was killing my motivation. This... got worse after we broke up and then back together. 

She started a mega man roleplay server, not even inviting me to it. And then after I said I would consider writing X (as she wrote Zero and we would ship together). But keep in mind, I was moving out at the time. Away from an extremely abusive mother who later disowned me for leaving her. 

So Zee claimed I was holding a ship over her head, and in spite she refused to write with me at all, One day, I had enough. Because she refused to even TALK to me. So I broke it off one last time and cut ties with her. 

I cried for a while that night, but one of my roommates made me brownies, and soon after... I was feeling better.

I realize now, that I don’t need Zee in my life to be happy. She tore up a lot of potential friendships I could have made here, and I won’t stand for it.

I’m a lot better now. I’m currently in a loving relationship with someone else, and she’s an amazing, positive force in my life. 

I’m glad I got away from Zee while I still could.