sav's personal whooo

i should eat. i havent eaten since yesterday lmao......

i just want to be gorgeous and successful 

also i wish i knew how to put what im feeling about this situation into words but i cant and now i feel like im just. stuck. 

like i feel like i shouldn’t have to force other people to be in my presence. it must be very insulting to them, to be around someone as gross as me. and im sorry. 

sometimes i forget that im so ugly that other ppl looking at my face should be a punishment

all I do is bring bad vibes

I just love fuckin up

I feel like I have to punish myself by not eating. like I'm such a fuvk up I don't deserve to feel full.

I wish I didn't hate my body so much. Like my face??? ugly yea but its manageable with makeup at least. everything from the neck down??? hopeless.

"conventionally attractive people are boring" I know. I know they are. but they are at a level of boring beautifulness that EVERYONE finds attractive I want everyone to think I'm beautiful and if being boring will get me there then... idk. I hate this. I wish I didn't care what other people thought. I wish I didn't feel the need to appeal visually to everyone. I'm so fucking TIRED OF THIS

I wish I didn't have bdd I feel like it ruins everything in my life. it ruins all my relationships all my friendships everything. i can't go anywhere with people without it fucking something up I can't even be online browsing tumblr or Facebook or anything without something like. triggering me. and it's so exhausting Im so tired of this. I'm so tired of feeling this way and needing validation and then not believing it anyways. I'm not beautiful. I'm not sexy. I'm not attractive. and I never will be.