Captain America taught me to be kind.

Black Widow taught me to be strong.

Thor taught me to be forgiving.

Hulk taught me to love myself.

Hawkeye taught me to never give up.

- humans are just two holes between two sets of cheeks

- birth certificates are just baby receipts but they’re nonrefundable

- a ‘P’ is a ‘B’ without the ‘b’

- a floppy disk will be known as the save icon

- if humans didn’t have nipples, breast wouldn’t matter

- a boomerang is a frisbee for people who don’t have friends

- arcades are casinos for kids

- if you smoke in a walk-in freezer, you’re hotboxing an icebox

- ac is just domesticated wind

- eraser companies are successful due to your failures

- telling someone they’re 1 in a million is saying they’re the same as 7600 other people

- honey is classified as a meat

- 36 out of 39 global table salt brands contain microplastics