e n c h a n t é e

unknowing their object,  craving all the more,

eye have red & sew am full splintered wrists will span under the wait of your shoulders an arbitrary matchstik mouse saw my mane I’m you’re house, name, incendiary forgotten our we buzzadic swarm of cabs covered slow heads above asphalt dots sworn hidden tourniquets

no pennies, here, not one

the anti-all, dao-om-adonai, packed misty rudders, slew of sad anchors,  and neither left nor write, while god chopped onions for lunch

under poly-skinned rows of lovers you believed your unself unlatched weight endless iambs tramped on perpetual purposeless, mind awe-full 

i want to destroy my( )self again and again until i see distinct shifting particles  each moment becoming and unbecoming  and all is everything & everything is nothing (i want to die), but

I do not want to end I want to continue this endless wave undulate indefinitely along a never-ending axis  imagining infinite positive slopes if I just change this or that then gravity might lose its pull  I never grasp my own insanity unseeing the inexorable plunge again until time slows down (a line is not a line but a series of points) edges blur some fear of some thing beyond and I  retreat into me

you feel it too (?) rush of vertigo a pause at the apex unknowing what comes next only the thud of blood when you see how much space surrounds how far there is to fall

must years bring hardness, belief, self-righteous pride? what do decades teach but repetition, emptiness inside?

(vacant seashells crushed in the tide)

I love you I love you I     love    you see? affection born of time and memory what do you love, your ideas or me?

as though this striving could bring release you preach of calm, joy, compassion, peace

When pain is, everything else is secondary. I may take note of the breeze caressing my face, dappled shadows of trees in the morning glow, the untenable vastness of the sky, but pain wrenches me back into myself, a harsh leash around my neck.