Exile

Rw: We fell in love, so I thought, and we moved in together in the summer of 1984. We w want to school and I performed often, making money to cover the rent usually.

SM: how long did this go on?

RW: We were stable for years. We spoke of getting married but we called each other husband and wife informally. We even had rings. Her family was opposed to our relationship from the beginning but she hid much of that from me.

SM: Hid how, did you ever meet them?

RW: I met Tsugumi's mother and grandmother once. The grandmother treated me well but the mother looked at me with contempt. Her mother was a well known classical singer in Japan. She hid lost of things from me about who she really was. She never really told the details about what was going on with her family.

SM: What details did she hide?

RW: Her families wealth. She lied to me claiming that they were ordinary middle class people. When I got to Japan, she sandbags her family by bringing me to Shougatsu New Years celebration to meet her father for first time. He never said a word to be and pretended I wasn't even there. The apartment in Tokyo was gigantic, not by Japanese standards but by any standards. The living room had two grand pianos in it with plenty of space to spare.

SM: wow, I can't imagine such a space. Why do you think she did this?

Rw: Uh, sure, sadly I have too much experience with this topic

Sm: So yes, when I was referred to you I thought you would be someone with an intense Japanese fetish.

Rw: No, I actually have very little interest in Japan or Japanese culture.

Sm: Really? I don't believe that. You speak Japanese, and I was told that you spoke Japanese to your children even though you were in America

Rw: That is true, I did that because I didn't want my children to be cut off from half of their family because of language. They have citizenship in both countries and I hoped that language wouldn't be the barrier for them to choose where to settle and live.

Sm: okay, that makes sense

Rw: if their mothers were from any other country, I'd have done the same thing.

Sm: I understand. So you would have learned any language to make it happen?

Rw: Yes because I think the extended family connection is important.

Sm:

That's really cool. Okay we have this aspect of you, so getting back to the beginning, how did all of this start for you? You had no interest in Japan or Japanese women, how did you meet the first person?

Rw:

Back in those days the only things from Japan were cheap electronics, small cheap cars and Godzilla movies. I never really thought anything about Japanese people. When I was at college I saw this girl who had a sweatshirt on who had the name of the local college where I took a summer class at. She happened to be Japanese. I asked her if she attended that school and asked which campus she went to. She went to the school to study English for a summer to prepare for college. Her name was Tsugumi.

There was no instant attraction but we would smile and say hello whenever we saw each other. I was actually dating an American girl casually at the time. That girl went home for Thanksgiving and never came back to school. Now that I was alone and the only person other than my roommates I had to talk to was her, we began to talk more and eventually we went on our first date to a Japanese restaurant for sushi.

Sm: Oh Nice, was this your first time to have Japanese food?

Rw: Yes, I was a typical black guy in the early 1980s. All my food had to be cooked. The only exotic food I ever had was take out Chinese.

Sm: Did you like it?

Rw:

I loved it until the wasabi touched my tongue. That's when I stood up from table and looked around the restaurant in a deep fear.

Sm:

Fear?

Rw:

yes fear, I mean, I was the only Black guy in the restaurant and Boston had terrible racism back then so I thought someone was trying to poison me.

Sm:

Are you serious? (Laugh)

Rw:

Yeah, totally but Tsugumi realized what's going on with me and calms me down. She kept telling me that it was the mustard and I said " that ain't no mustard" . I never had anything touch my tongue and blow out my sinuses like that before.

Sm:

Yes, wasabi can be difficult for people. So I guess that was a bonding moment for you two?

Rw: