𓆩♰𓆪

under the auspices of ants

the goosebumps amalgamate as the skin repairs

and an itch to continue

a desire to reach out my body to yours persists

but the idea of my bugs under my epidermis pressing against u

makes me nauseous&shrivel

they're crawling through my veins

and ask my pulse quickens they spin inside me faster

even when our touch is brief, accidental

i feel them itching to jump

and i have to scold myself for letting myself get close to you

the ants scream

feed all yours thoughts to me till you’re exhausted and begging for release

the mandibles of my greed grip your hips to feel every experience you’ve had

i sink my pincers into your neck’s skin and bite until your feelings start to break through the surface

i’ll drink up every drop of your intimacy, moments you’ve always wanted to share but been afraid to

why did it feel like i was gasping for air with you?

there are time in lull with you that i feel i have enough

but it’s not enough for you or myself or anyone

don’t look over here

don’t turn around

it's easier to look at you from the side or behind

but ants crawled into cuts on my hips that were left from others grip

and are waiting to escape my orifices

they prick at the urethra

and traveling between my vagina and my anus

it stings and i'm afraid of using the bathroom

for when i see their corpses staring back at me from the water

i'm sorry i couldn't host you better and my body pushed you out

and though i hate the ants, i have to protect them

they've dug themselves inside

On fumes

Away

Late

To catch you

and wonder what they see in me

now when i stare at myself in the mirror

an object has become of me

i hate to be a toy, a fantasy, a night

but it seems its come too familiar for me

i cradle the object that has become of me

i see the cracks starting to form

i'm afraid at what will seep through,

though it is another part of me

i'll miss the shell, the way it protects me

even if its been cutting

my gums into smiling

legs into opening

senses numb

from during highschool, 2022

lace covered mace

but I wish not to make you a marionette

I'd rather play a duet