headcanons no one asked for
but, here’s the kicker, bertrand is shortest
like he’s 5’2 or something. like SO short
and bea isn’t much better at 5’4
but then lemony is like 6’1 and it’s so FUNNY
ramona constantly asks if his back hurts from leaning down to kiss them
and he stares her dead in the eye and picks bea up like her legs around his hips and arms around his neck. he raises a single eyebrow. and ramona doesn’t ask anymore
and okay their bedroom is a mess
it’d be worse without bertrand there to pick up some things
but they have a desk in the corner with one of lemony’s typewriters on (cause lbr he’d have more than one) and there’s just paper EVERYWHERE all around it. and bea has her record player that she ADORES
the record player has a stand and under the stand is a milkcrate of records and next to it is this houseplant and that houseplant was the start of bea’s small army of plants
so there’s music playing in their apartment constantly
something sort of soft and poetic
it’s pretty much never made. always rumpled bc they just don’t care enough
so when they sleep it goes bea on the right, lemony in the middle and bertie on the end
and okay here’s how it goes: bertrand is a sprawler and tends to end up half on top of lemony
wait omg so bertie’s a stomach sleeper
lemony is always, and i mean always, in the middle because he’s practically a corpse when he sleeps like he will not move that’s not to say he’s a dead-to-the-world type sleeper though, he’ll wake up to the slightest sound
so he’s on his back with one arm hooked around bertie and the other flung across his eyes
bea doesn’t particularly like to be touched when she sleeps so she curls up separately but still only like an inch away (when they’re all awake bea loves to cuddle, it’s just when she’s asleep that she doesn’t like it) am i projecting? yes.
OKAY YEAH that means we have all of them. side, stomach and back sleepers
y’all abt their kisses!!!!
lemony is tallest and particularly fond of forehead pecks
bertrand likes mouth kisses and could happily kiss his partners for hours on end
bea likes cheek and nose kisses but also really digs a good makeout sesh
bea ALWAYS finds a way to be holding the hand at least one of them she LOVES it
she’ll swing them around and just fuckin loves it
lemony is difficult with that sort of casual affection but he’s so much better now bc bertie and bea are just SO tactile
and on that tactile thing
lemony’s fave thing is when he sits at the desk in their bedroom and bea and bertie are sprawled out on the bed and they talk about nothing for hours while he clicks away with a soft, secret smile on his face
half responding but mostly just listening to them
and sometimes what they say turns teasing or dirty
wait okay so he hates it but lemony blushes real easily
yeah okay so like bertrand and bea have this kind of competition where they try to make lemony blush and whoever gets the most blushes out of him wins
(they win kisses from lemony (mainly to make them stop teasing, and realLy in the end they all get kisses, not just the winner) and either tickles and pouts (bea) or more kisses (bert) from the loser bc lbr for dumb little games and competitions bea would be SUCH a sore loser)
oh also bertrand just fucking loves sitting on lemony’s lap and bea loves sitting on both of their laps (not like a 3 person stack probably) so lemony’s basically been forced to get used to casual intimacy
and he’s so good with it now
as shown by the forehead kisses
but sometimes bea and bertrand look at him and see him with this faraway look in his eyes
because he just can’t believe he was allowed this
the affection and the love
and he can’t believe that the two best people he’s ever known somehow deemed him worthy of themselves
and that’s when bea and bertie know to show him their love
and the faraway look goes away for a while
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