it's all make believe

when you hold a boy’s dick you hold all of their power. they are powerless. you can either give them an orgasm or destroy them.

You could finish him or finish him

Greece is actually bankrupt up, but American’s just want to bitch about a racist flag and gun control.

Football sucks and you can suck me from the back.

I’m glad to see the referee meme back.

This meme is completely new to me and I immediately, unironically love it.

If you could shapeshift don’t even deny that you would shapeshift into a subtly hotter version of yourself over time

uhm no i’d be a dragon

shoutout to everyone who doesnt actually have a solid Best Friend bc their best friends have better best friends or bc they dont bond enough with people to have best friends or bc their ‘best friends’ constantly come and go and it just kinda leaves em feeling vaguely isolated even though they might have plenty of regular friends

bad men get trapped in the shame toilet 

team “i wore this yesterday but i’m going to a different place so it doesn’t matter”

team “I wore this yesterday but I wore it under a jacket so I can wear it again, no one will know”

team “I’m going to wear these jeans until I spill something noticeable on them”

just so we’re clear if i ever become famous you guys totally have my 100% permission to use me to get back at any bitches who teased you in school like im not even kidding just send me a message with your situation and i will fly my ass out to your high school reunion or whatever and be your +1 and we can regale all the bitches with the fantastic stories of our foolhardy adventures and THEY WILL NEVER KNOW

do atheists say oh my god

yep.  we say it any time we hear something that’s unbelievable.