Celtic

*I know I shouldn’t have to say it but this is rather fucked up so if you’re a wuss or aren’t a fan of really fucked up things, don’t read this…obviously*

It should first be said that I’m a rather intelligent, sophisticated young woman. I graduated college at 21, I raised $55k for an organization on my own for 7 years and I’ve always lived by my parents rules. I had never done drugs up until this past February and even then, I’ve only done them twice. I’m, for the most part, a good girl.

And yet, despite this rather normal and boring upbringing and life I lead, I have the most twisted fantasies, most of which are evident through my blog.

The darkest fantasy, though is what keeps me up at night, squirming and throbbing, desperately humping my bed, wishing it would happen and cursing myself for being so fucked up all at once.

I want to meet someone, someone clever and cruel and who wants to destroy my life simply for the fun of it and because it makes them hard. I want them to get me addicted to drugs…every and any kind. I want them to make me a junkie whore, to make me fuck any living thing so I can get a bit of extra cash for another fix.

I want to lose my mind, my feministic beliefs, everything about me. I want to become mindless, focused only on reaching that high again, feeling that good again. I want it to kill me, for it to make me fade into existence-into nothing.