i'm still life

I’ve always said that the world is a different place for the heartbroken. It moves on a different axis, at a different speed. Time skips backwards and forwards fleetingly. The heartbroken might go through thousands of micro-emotions a day trying to figure out how to get through it without picking up the phone to hear that old familiar voice. In the land of heartbreak, moments of strength, independence, and devil-may-care rebellion are intricately woven together with grief, paralyzing vulnerability and hopelessness. Imagining your future might always take you on a detour back to the past. And this is all to say, that the next album I’ll be releasing is my version of Red.

Musically and lyrically, Red resembled a heartbroken person. It was all over the place, a fractured mosaic of feelings that somehow all fit together in the end. Happy, free, confused, lonely, devastated, euphoric, wild, and tortured by memories past. Like trying on pieces of a new life, I went into the studio and experimented with different sounds and collaborators. And I’m not sure if it was pouring my thoughts into this album, hearing thousands of your voices sing the lyrics back to me in passionate solidarity, or if it was simply time, but something was healed along the way.

Sometimes you need to talk it over (over and over and over) for it to ever really be… over. Like your friend who calls you in the middle of the night going on and on about their ex, I just couldn’t stop writing. This will be the first time you hear all 30 songs that were meant to go on Red. And hey, one of them is even ten minutes long.

Red (Taylor’s Version) will be out November 19.

In regards to Hoseok, from a thoughtful question I was recently asked:

Sunshine. Hope. Angel. These words are all synonymous with Hoseok and rightly so, but

They do not define him. They are not exhaustive. Though they are a list of adjectives that absolutely do describe his soul and the message he conveys through his music as an artist, he is not limited to a one-dimensional image.

As fans we need to recognise that we really know nothing. There are members like Namjoon and Yoongi who wear their heart on their sleeve in their lyrics and don’t keep their struggles from us. That is fine.

If we think about it, we really don’t know much about members like Seokjin or Hoseok, such as about their experiences predebut. They choose not to share their stories, and most likely we will never know. That is also fine.

There are a few things they have chosen to show us.

We only just found out through Burn The Stage how bad things were at one point with Hoseok actually leaving the group. He came back, because of his members.

In the one and half years of the rappers were stuck together training alone, Yoongi revealed this:

He even said Hoseok should have been called “J-Sad”. Their early days were heartbreakingly difficult.

I have seen people call his on-camera persona “fake” or “loud” or “annoying”. Whilst it is true that we simply will never see all the worst parts of their lives, they have already shown us so much. Such claims come from people who can’t be bothered to learn about him as a whole person.

Hoseok is not just an outgoing, funny mood maker. He is a huge comfort to his members. He plays a huge role as a “second leader”. He takes his title as the Dance Leader incredibly seriously. 

Whether or not Hoseok had to change himself to adapt to his on-camera/stage persona (it’s very common for new idol members to be assigned personality “roles” within their group) or he naturally rose to it and became more and more true to himself, that doesn’t make his care and affection any less genuine. 

Taking such a position is infinitely selfless. Constantly putting other’s worries and emotions before yourself is a huge sacrifice and can take its toll on anyone. 

As Jimin said, he is “a hyung that’s brighter than anyone but also a hyung that gets tired faster than anyone”.

Hobi took on this role as a “hopeful existence” for his members. For when they are nervous backstage, need to break the ice during overseas interviews, or are struggling with their performance. 

When he is needed he is there.

But let’s not forget that when he needs them, 

they are there for him too.

Hoseok is a multi-faceted, gorgeous-hearted, kind, golden human. 

A blessing to this world and to our lives. 

@ourownwings asked: favorite txt friendship?