mafuyu

regret is a fire that can’t be satiated. it could have- should have been anyone else. he never deserved this. and yet, you loved him regardless. he swore beneath the moonlight to protect you with all he had to give, yet he threw it away in an instant.

anaxagoras was a man without need for romantic love. it’s truly more than difficult to fall in love with someone when you’ve closed yourself off entirely from the world in a desperate effort to save what feelings you had left. single eye fixing on you as he ripped out the thing keeping him alive in place of a heart, he had nothing else to lose. apathy was his greatest strength. he felt nothing as he tore the coreflame from his very flesh simply to end what little life he had left, all the chrysos heirs were destined to die anyway— and he was no different.

there was only one problem, anaxagoras did love you. he buried those feelings deep within his mind to protect himself. the way he shivered beneath your touch, allowed himself to be vulnerable around you, there was a reason he simply couldn’t pinpoint.

until now, that is. not until he stood, watching the people he had sacrificed himself to protect, even if they were all fated to die anyway. he had shared the secrets of the gods, and he now had to pay the price. there was no choice. yet there you stood anyway, in pure shock. even looking upon you now, his nonexistent heart skipped a beat. perhaps this suffering was retribution for ever having let someone in at all. as his body faded into golden dust, his last seconds were spent embracing you and pressing the gentlest of kisses to your cheek.

and just like that, he was gone. dissipated into nothing but glimmering gold dust on your hands.

the judge was proud of his virtues, deserving of praise from the divine he so worshiped with his very soul. he was a righteous man, so much more pure than the vulgar and obscenely unrefined crowd who shared none of his values. why, then, did he see you reflected in the flames burning in his fireplace on those cold nights? why did your eyes scorch his soul as if they were magnifying the sun directly into his heart?

the conflagration of you against his righteousness only stung more with the idea of keeping his lust hidden. your body he coveted so viscerally it hurt, something so forbidden it was unthinkable. even in the darkest of night, he would see you in the deep shadows, his desire palpable in the very fabric of his being. the sun caught in your eyes blazed out of any and all control, a wildfire without containment. smoke that dulled his senses and left him weak.

neuvillette himself isn't to blame for this, it was you, he'd say. it's really not his fault that the devil's temptation was much stronger than that of a man or dragon. praying to his god to protect him from your spell of temptation, lest you be his and his alone. it was a strange duet of lust and fear, sing it once more. it was a dichotomy between a pure soul and his impure desires for someone he could never have.

be his or burn. the choice was simple.