so i took a nap today and i had a dream that the secret service came to my house and they were stone face serious and said “the president wants to see you” and i was just like oh fuck what did i do and i got on a plane and went to DC to see the fucking president and i walk into his office all nervous like yes mr president what can i do for you and he just turns around and looks me in the eye before nodding and saying “your memes…….. they intrigue me…….”

“get you a mans who can do both” what? lie AND get my hopes up? 😍😍 

remember when u were like 11 and the only thing u wanted was a lava lamp

thank you for following me I have nothing to offer

do you ever just get too lazy to put on pants

let her sleep