Day fucking whatever (day 384)
Night update: fucking horrible. Iāve had constant anxiety attacks for the past four days and I canāt sleep. I spent all night crying in the bathroom so Remy wonāt try to kill me.
I donāt even know why that is, I just... no, actually I do know what it is. I havenāt had time to see my therapist in almost two months.
You can judge me all you want but sheās had conferences and shit and when she was here Iāve had other shit to do that really came over my time seeing her and nobody really paid any attention to if Iām seeing her or not, and nobody really assigned me any replacement for the time being. Remy went to management about it but nobody really cares. I donāt know why. Iām guessing itās because itās been a hectic month for everyone.
The others are doing pretty okay. Patton is putting all his energy into wedding plans and Roman... well, he didnāt get a call back. But itās okay. Heās already preparing for the next role. Remy and Em are okay, theyāre not... well, theyāre more stable than most inpatient relationships (Iām talking about Remy not Emile) Iāve seen but thereās a lot of bullshit going on and I canāt ask because Remy wonāt tell me. Believe me I tried. Something that has to do with Emās job or something like that.
Logan is on the same boat as I am. Heās been in solitary a couple days ago and heās unstable as fuck, in a really bad way. We help each other. He got into this color matching bubble game and he can sorta disappear for hours playing that game. Itās almost like he isnāt here when he does. And Iām just... yeah, Iām just here.
I finally get to see my therapist again though. And Iām very ready.
Iām gonna ask someone to update later for me. I hope Patpat would. I have to go now.
~ Virgil.
