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.
Judeâs brow inevitably creased when Sonny brought up the bouncer, not only for the danger imposed to their most important friend in a very physical sense, but also the more abstract threat implicit in Lydia seeing it happen. âFuck,â they uttered eloquently, the one leg that was swinging starting to swing a little faster with nerves. It didnât slow even when they accepted the joint and took a quick, deep lungful, the smoke scraping down Judeâs throat in a much different way than their vape but not in a way they wholly minded.
It was a precarious tightrope theyâd been walking for years with Lydia. Jude had been careful to follow Sonnyâs lead when they met, well aware that the two of them were far too inexorably intertwined for her to believe that one would be in the business theyâre in without the other. But maybe sheâd be upset to know they were both in it without her. Without her even knowing.
Jude tilted his head back towards the sky, a starless backdrop thanks not to clouds but to the pollution of the bright lights all around them, and exhaled a soft cloud of smoke. âFuck,â he said again, more subdued this time, as he lowered his gaze to Sonnyâs, an uncharacteristic picture of heavy concern, and offered the joint back.
Ultimately, he shook his head. âThereâs lots of people here I know. A few of âem even know me.â Which was the more important point, when Jude was so frequently an anonymous name behind a computer or cellphone screen. âBut if they know whatâs good for âem, they wonât be seen talking to me.â Jude shook his head again, licked his lips. This time when his scuffed-white boot swung out, it caught briefly but purposefully at the outside of Sonnyâs thigh.
âEver think too much about whatâd happen if she found out?â âIfâ felt like a lie, when it was so much more likely a âwhen.â Lord knew Jude thought too much about it, when he so often considered himself the most disposable of the three. Lydia could hate him, he figured with an unaffectedness he didnât really feel. But surely she couldnât hate her brother.
â
âFuck indeed,â he echoed the sentiment with a bitter mirth not quite present in his friendâs own delivery. Kohl-rimmed eyes lingered on Judeâs form, on the angles formed as they tilted their head to the sky, and the way the cityscape reflected off of them to create a soft diffusion of light like a pink-hued halo. Rather candidly, and likely a byproduct of the cross-fade starting to take effect in his brain, Sonny grinned, âI shouldâve brought my camera. You lookââ Inhale, exhale. ââtoo good to ruin it by gettinâ worried over my own...shenanigans.â
He shrugged at the silliness of the thought. Where Sonnyâs shenanigans ended, Judeâs began, and vice versa. The world might see the Caine siblings as inexorably linked, but in the deepest sense of what the trio was truly comprised of â wouldnât that title instead be better suited to the two who shared a secret as readily as a joint on a rooftop, as manicures and Mario Kart, as inside jokes and knowing glances? Sonny shrugged again, a half-bemused chuckle accompanying another small exhale of smoke as the other nudged his thigh.
âWell, half the reason I keep you âround is for the thrill of it all,â he joked in response, words bearing a certain truth â not solely in the sense of fending off any trouble that came their way, but simply because that Jude was a thrill. Beyond friendly flights of fancy, they offered something Sonnyâs life seemed naturally inclined to reject: stability. Stability in the form of someone to look forward to, to even occasionally come home to, to lean against and trust even with that which was most hidden from the rest of the world. Whatever existed between them was indeed a thrill, the kind that demanded to be protected if only for its sheer rarity.Â
Before he could speak more on it, they were back on about Lydia â and when his sister was the topic of conversation, all other considerations fell momentarily by the wayside. ââToo muchâ? How about eight days a week?â A beat, filled by a nervous chuckle, gaze clouded with a hint of reluctance. âI didnât realize we were playing Truth of Dare, but seeing as Iâve lazily worked my way around a truth, that means you get a dare.â Those were hardly the rules, and they both knew it, but his assertion carried the undercurrent of a simple plea. âDare you to distract me from the inevitability of my sister hating me when she finds out.â










