Summer Melody

Walking through space With an emptiness That's easy enough to bear. My thoughts spill and Drip from my ears. My words cease and I speak no worries and Speak no cares. I dance in circles Every evening and I'm Having fun Holding back the tears. Spewing out wordless verses Like vomit. My soul is comfortable Here drowning at the surface. I can go shopping Every night and Come back with nothing. In a pile of superficiality and I don't feel a thing and I feel "happy". My throat is raw and Coated with The smoke of semen and The taste of the cigarette From next door. My hands are shaky From the artificial focus That drives me further And further Away. I continue to crawl Through spit and sweat Chocolates and bruises. I continue to stretch Myself thin After things I've mistaken For muses. I can't fix the people I love So I fix houses. I build cozy rooms and Trustworthy locks and A strong foundation. I live there alone and No one Is allowed inside. There is no furniture and There is no plan and There is no food and Im starving. I'm trapped here and I'm starving. I stay awake Always With a stomach tied in knots. I stare at the blank walls And I can see who I am Like they're mirrors. I look at the ceiling and I see images From the part of my mind I let go. Something foreign is Wrapped around me and Holding me tight. I feel warm for a second but Toss and turn at night. I look into the gaze Of a stranger and See their soul Full of the hope and Love I can not return Since it was never owned. I feel the hot skin Of a stranger and feel their flesh On my flesh and I'm being engulfed In flames and My body is on fire and I can't run away and After I'm burned to ashes I Always come back To die once more. I feel the hot breath Of a stranger On my lips and I wish it could fill me up Because my insides Are empty and It's that same emptiness. The same hunger. I sit here alone and Reminiscing through the Images on my ceiling. I sit here alone On my strong foundation which I built myself. I sit here alone and I'm starving. Starving for a passion I once felt.