lol wyd 👀

have u been reading my diary nonny I like the way u think!  @goodbrosteverogers dances like a white boy but damn he athletic 😏

sorry!!! u know how the holiday season is! gotta start preppin the Wilson family recipes... I’m in charge of the roast beef this year and if I fuck it up my great-aunt will roast me to a crisp lmao altho I know @goodbrosteverogers will eat whatever I cook tbh oh also aliens vaporized our wedding florist so that delayed things a lil. we’re around now tho!actually idk where @fckboybucky is 🤔

i feel so accomplished 

how bad did he fuck up that he went into the gotdamn ice again sighbut yeah, i would. 

🤔I mean uhof course i’ll want the real Steve! who else has such a big, loving heartcan Impostor Steve make us brunch tho 

That’s frustrating tbh!! The fashion industry ain’t shit for their limited sizing. Thick thighs are amazing tho... don’t let nobody tell you different. have u tried jeggings? idgaf what people say about them, stretchy pants are a lifesaver!! u can also get jeans that fit ur thighs, and have the waist taken in. one of my sister’s friends had the same problemgood luck!

yo can you plan our engagement dinner???

i was so fckin tired bruh lmao we like all hobbled out of that fuckin underwater hellme n steve made out a lot on the flight home tho <3

well fuckin now i got that fearshould i develop a code that only the real Steve wud know??yo @goodbrosteverogers ... when I say I’ll do that thing you like, which response is most accurate for you:A) Gosh, That Sounds Keen!B) Just Call Me The Plumber, Because I’m Here To Lay Pipe (Bucky told me to say that)C) [no verbal response, just picking Sam up and carrying him to the bedroom]hmmmmmmmmm

i gotta say, i only understand like 40% of this but i love your enthusiasm! hell yeah let’s get some fake tail feathers, i’m tryna get some eggs in this nest(that’s a euphemism for sex right?)

she just said “that sound better be you applauding your textbook, Samuel” and lefti didn’t look her in the eye for 2 weeks!! but she didn’t care about me jerking off, she cared about me doing that instead of my homework lmao

ok i can’t tell if this is actually Sarah or not but if it is ya nasty n i’m telling maalso do u still have my boyz II men CD in your car, i want it back