embarrassment has good bones
hello vonnie
trying on a metaphor

@theartofmadeline
Peter Solarz
Misplaced Lens Cap
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
AnasAbdin
Mike Driver
DEAR READER


JBB: An Artblog!
d e v o n

JVL

Love Begins
we're not kids anymore.
cherry valley forever

romaâ

ellievsbear

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@samasever
embarrassment has good bones

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i have 3 moods:
skips every song on my ipod
lets the music play without interruption
plays the same song on repeat for days
Whatâs an iPod?
been on tumblr so long my text post is outdatedâŚ
This was me yesterday when I saw someone thinking paint 3D was the original MS paint
they thought whatâŚ
my favorite thing about this post is that it originally started like this but someone snuck in another bullet along the way when you could still edit other peopleâs posts. the depth. the history. the tumblr lore. mystery author, i know youâre out there somewhereâŚ
do genuinely find it fascinating how indeed.com is like the biggest job-hunting website out there and yet manages to be profoundly useless in every possible way
i apply for a job. i never hear back.
i search for "entry level jobs". i am shown listings for things like "military intelligence officer", "senior veterinary surgeon", and "forklift engineer".
i search for "jobs in bookselling". i am told that there are 9 bookselling jobs in my area. when i read the listings, 8 of these 9 jobs are care assistant roles and the 9th is a pyramid scheme.
i search for "jobs within 5 miles of my location". i am shown jobs that are on the other side of the country.
i type in "proofreading". i am shown listings for "ai training".
i search "creative industry jobs". half the listings are for finance companies and the other half require a degree in data science.
i receive an email. "based on your profile, indeed thought you would be a great match for this opportunity!" the linked job requires a degree that i do not have and 5 years of experience in a field that i know nothing about. the email does not explain why this opportunity would be "a great match".
i receive an email. "based on your profile, indeed thought you would be a great match for this opportunity!" in the body of the email, it warns me that i will not be able to apply for the job it has sent me because i do not meet the criteria.
i apply for a job with a temp agency. i never hear back. 2 weeks later the agency website goes down and never comes back up again.
i apply for a job. 6 months later i get a stock email telling me my application has been unsuccessful.
i apply for a job. i never hear back.
New political strategy just dropped.
Taiwanese parliament member stole a Bill before it could get passed. ďżź
@NFL Someone sign this man as a running back.
This is simply how they do things in Taiwan. In 2006, DPP deputy Wang Shu-hui successfully prevented a vote on an incoming bill by Eating It.
i love this post so fucking much

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me holding a gun to a mushroom: tell me the name of god you fungal piece of shit
mushroom: can you feel your heart burning? can you feel the struggle within? the fear within me is beyond anything your soul can make. you cannot kill me in a way that matters
me cocking the gun, tears streaming down my face: IâM NOT FUCKING SCARED OF YOU
Hey OP? What the FUCK does this mean?
decay exists as an extant form of life
Thatâs a terrifying answer, have a nice day
THE ORIGINAL?!?!!!!!!!!;!!!!!!!!???
i saw a post on twitter by a european saying americans are fake for their random compliments to strangers and their general cheery demeanor and like no. no no no you donât understand. if you get a random compliment from an american on the street about your outfit or whatever, that is 100% genuine. we mean it. we arenât lying we are making a small but fleeting connection with you because our lives are shitty but the human condition is enduring. oh god iâm clutching my chest
Please consider donating, he's gravely injured and needs all the help he can get â¤ď¸
hi, i am advocating on behalf of chase wagley at his request. on march 6th, ch⌠Ceason Jeansonne needs your support for cover medical
Because @staff is too cowardlyâŚ
What type of dashboard experience do you prefer?
An algorithm based feed where I get âthe best of tumblrâ.
Chronological feed that only features blogs I follow.
This doesnât affect me personally.
i hope the ao3 volunteers are okay, dealing with a ddos attack while the whole community is crying must be very stressful.
As seen on the AO3 twitter status uptade:
so yeah, everyone please stop refreshing your fics, that just adds to the problem.

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I'm sorry I can't read that book you recommended. Yeah, no, it's just that beginning something new that I don't know if I'm in the mood for is to me what plastic bags are to horses and if you play 30 seconds of an unfamiliar audiobook I WILL spook and break two of my legs.
I can't even bring myself to read books I WANT to read, what the fuck makes anyone think they have more power over me than the dopamine-sucking rat inside my own brain? You say a movie is super good and want me to watch it so we can talk about it? No. That's homework now. My brain selects what is Acceptable based on something between ornithomancy and letting a cat knock over some cups. Nobody understands it. I am ruled by it. Doctors refuse to adequately medicate me for it. I will watch the latest Pixar movie when and only when you prop my corpse in front of the television and the coins fall off my eyes.
Yes this is about ADHD.
This is Captain Kirk of the USS Enterprise speaking. Weâve entered the orbit of a planet not terribly unlike our own⌠save that it is exclusively populated by petty old queens.
They seem to have accepted Commander Spock as one of their own.
I feel lied to. This is where the bugs bunny NO meme cokes from
Ah lads they fucking rotated him
Me, reading this whole post:
NOW itâs you
Oh yea? Well guess what bro
Best post I've seen all day
not the twitter migrants putting "reblog heavy" in their bios on here... like yeah. that's what we do here
reblog heavy

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Corporate Glossary: every Friday, learn the secret meaning of common corporate words
âTheyâre trying to discharge her constructively. Do you know what Constructive Discharge means?â She asked.
As soon as I heard the term âConstructive Discharge,â I knew Iâd never seen it on a vocabulary quiz.
âNo. What does it mean?â I asked.
She explained.
âConstructive discharge is a fancy way of saying âbeing forced out.â Itâs not good. And if youâre not a lawyer or in human resources, youâll probably learn what it means when itâs happening to you.â
âOh my God. Iâve seen this my entire career and never knew it even had a name.â I thought.
Youâve seen constructive Discharge too. You may have experienced it. Weâve all made choices to avoid it.
Constructive discharge defined
âWe canât fire you, but weâll make you so miserable youâll quit, and then we wonât have to pay your unemployment.â
Then thereâs the textbook definition:
âA constructive discharge occurs when your employer has made working conditions unbearable, forcing you to resign.â
Or as one person put it.
âI didnât get handed a pink slip, but when youâre not wanted, people have a way of letting you know.â
HR isnât always the secret police.
Employees arenât always victims of evil-doers.
However, employers push employees out all the time to maintain and protect the, âWe didnât do anything wrong, YOU did,â power structure.
Constructive Discharge looks like this:
â Meeting invitations slow to a trickle, and youâre excluded from emails and generally looped out of whatâs going on.
â People stop talking to you or stop talking when you walk in.
â Your emails donât get answers, or they arrive too late to be of value.
â Suddenly, your work is not good enough, though nothing about your work has changed.
â Reviews, once good or even glowing, are now mediocre or bad.
â Instead of a bonus, you get a Performance Improvement Plan.
â Warnings and write-ups start so they can justify your eventual termination with documentation of your âpoor performanceâ
â Your work, clients, assignments go away, or they overwhelm you with work.
â The words âSet up to failâ were practically invented to describe this scenario.
Constructive Discharge is illegal
It isnât easy to prove youâre a target, and itâs even more challenging if you donât even know constructive discharge is a real thing.
If youâve ever experienced this and donât fully understand whatâs happening to you beyond knowing youâre in the process of being excommunicated, it can be hell. Itâs not uncommon for the experience to leave long-lasting scars.
Talk to anyone whoâs ever been through it. Theyâll tell you.
Knowing constructive discharge exists and how itâs used gives you power to predict whatâs coming and to protect yourself.
Seeing the endgame helps you in two ways.
You know what to expect. Having a sense of whatâs coming next is enormously empowering. You can go on the offensive and protect yourself. Constructive discharge works to crush your ego, making you feel you did something wrong and deserve this treatment.
Without strategy, you end up being a miserable pawn in your employerâs endgame.
Remember, theyâre almost certainly building a case to fire you in the event the hellscape they create for you doesnât persuade you to quit.
If youâre getting pushed out, and you know what to look for you can prove constructive discharge and you can get unemployment benefits, be released from payback obligations on a signing bonus, and protect your mental health.
Youâre not crazy, incompetent, or a failure. This is real and itâs carefully executed to leave you holding the bag and feeling like you did something wrong.
If they force you out, in addition to feeling horrible, you lose your paycheck, benefits health insurance, and possibly owe them money.
YES-AND. IF YOU HAVE NEVER READ A SINGLE ADDITION I HAVE MADE TO A POST, READ THIS ONE.
In the US, you have A FEDERAL RIGHT to communicate to your boss that you see what theyâre doing, and by so doing, YOU RETAIN YOUR RIGHT TO UNEMPLOYMENTâEVEN IF YOU QUIT!!!
Hereâs how it works.
1) go to work tomorrow and read the employee rights poster. By law, theyâre required to have one, and theyâre usually located in the breakroom. It looks something like this:
Usually, this will be posted next to a state labor laws poster, as well. (Also required by law, but I have seen them posted in two separate locations due to a building having a stupid wall layout, so if you donât see both, do some poking.) There are a few different styles of these posters, but theyâre all basically variations on a theme, so you should be able to recognize yours from the image posted above. Iâve read them hundreds of times in the last eight years, just to keep my memory fresh. If you donât see such a poster, contact your state labor board, because that is VERY ILLEGAL. The law is unambiguous on this: the poster must be posted in a highly-visible (to employees) location that is readily accessible. Not in your bossâs office, not in HR, not on the back of the fridge. Highly visible, readily accessible, REQUIRED BY LAW. If you have to contact the labor board on this one, skip straight to step 2b while youâre at it, because your boss is up to some shady shit.
2a) now that youâve had the primer of your rights as an employee, if everything is good for you, great! Keep an eye out and revisit these from time to time to be sure youâre not missing anything, especially if things start feeling rough. If things are NOT good for you, progress to 2b.
2b) if you suspect youâre the target of constructive discharge, DOCUMENT. EVERYTHING. Dates too, if you can remember them, although if youâre trying to remember âas far back as you can goâ when you begin to document, your dates might be a little hazier. Ask for personal hard copies of any consultations, write-ups, improvement plans, reviews, etc. and so forth that you receive. YOU HAVE A RIGHT TO THIS DOCUMENTATION. Keep all of this in a file. If any of your coworkers make comments on whatâs happening to you, note those down too: âon 1 July I called to inform my supervisor Iâd be late due to an unexpected flat tire. I arrived six minutes after my shift was due to begin. I received a corrective action form. My coworker Linda commented that she was surprised, because although this is my first tardy in over three years, other employees with repeated, significantly more severe tardies do not receive corrective action forms. My supervisor did not explain why he felt I required this form after a single incident of tardiness.â If you know what youâre being asked to do is illegal, MAKE THAT CLEAR IN YOUR DOCUMENTATION. âAfter hearing me mention to Sarah that I was hoping for a raise, supervisor Paul asked to have a one-on-one and required me to sign a form stating I would not discuss my salary, in contravention of state and federal law.â
3) when you feel you have sufficient evidence that Some Bullshit Is Afoot, itâs time to write to your HR department. Instructions on how to do this will be on that poster (sorry, Iâm home and getting ready for bed, I donât have this part memorized), but basically youâre going to be telling them that conditions have deteriorated such that you may be forced to resign if they donât improve. Note that the phrase âforced to resignâ is IMPORTANT AS HELL. Make sure you keep a hard copy of this letter for yourself.
4) You now have to give them 10-14 days to read, respond, and implement changes (I forget the exact number of days but itâs in there somewhere). CONTINUE TO DOCUMENT.
5) best case scenario, they realize they done fucked up, and things will change for the better. More likely scenario, you have to quit. HOWEVER, if you have followed all of these steps correctly, you can still claim unemployment.
6) now go contact the IWW for information on how to start talking union to your coworkers before it gets this far: www.iww.org
And finally, a note because this has happened to me and statistically either has or will happen to some of you:
If at any time the poor conditions should escalate to include sexual assault or harassment by a supervisor, DO NOT PASS GO, DO NOT COLLECT $200, CALL THE LABOR BOARD IMMEDIATELY. Make an EXACT record of what happened: write down statements verbatim, if you were touched inappropriately make note of exactly how and where, if you were offered any kind of quid pro quo (e.g., a promotion in exchange for oral sex; sex in exchange for continued employment) make note of EXACTLY what was offered and asked for. It is 100% okay to call the labor board and say âI donât know what to do, my boss groped my breasts today and told me heâd have a talk with his supervisor about my pay rate âif I was niceâ. Please tell me what to do, Iâm afraid if I quit Iâll lose unemployment.â Someone will be able to help you. In cases like these, do not wait. This is also true if youâre blatantly racially or religiously discriminated against. Please note when I say âblatant,â thatâs a much higher standard than what Tumblr understands as blatant. If your boss says youâre pretty cool for an N-word, call. If your boss makes a disparaging comment about doo-rags, document and hold your horses for now. (Is that a microaggression? Yes. Is that something the labor board will find actionable? Not on its own.)
Stay safe out there. Donât let the bastards get you down.
I have been through this, so let me add some tech-industry specific advice:
If youâve been placed on a Performance Improvement Plan, ask for digital and hard copies of the plan that have been signed by HR.
If you have the strength to do it, accept the PIP, and indulge in malicious compliance. Do everything exactly as itâs outlined in the PIP document and nothing more. Overachieving against a PIP wonât help your situation, but donât quit.
Keep copies of every email and message related to your PIP on a separate USB.
Find your company handbook. It is probably hidden somewhere on an internal website. Save a copy to the USB so you can research it for ANYTHING that might help you negotiate with HR at the end.
Keep all of your notes on the same USB.
Always assume your work computer has spyware on it.
None of this will help you keep your job. Remember that. All of this is to help you negotiate with HR when itâs time to review your PIP performance. WHEN they say you didnât meet the goals that were outlined, refer to your stack of documentation and give specific examples of where you met those goals. Ask HR what the next steps are. Your ultimate goal is to make HR suggest that you and the company part ways.
DO NOT AGREE TO THAT MAGIC STATEMENT. Thatâs when you start negotiating the terms of the company letting you go. The things I politely demanded AND GOT in writing:
3 months salary.
All remaining vacation time paid out.
Continued insurance coverage for 3 months.
A guarantee of a good reference if any potential employer asked for one.
A guarantee that the company would not contest my unemployment claim.
After all of that was signed and I had digital and physical copies of that paperwork, I told HR that my last day of work would be the following day. Remember that at that point, you donât owe them anything, including two weeks notice. Say your goodbyes and walk away.
gosh, this would have been handy to know while I was still trying to maintain my sanity in an increasingly hostile workplace environment
I was lucky enough to have allies elsewhere in the organization who helped me transfer and keep doing the important parts of my job (and greatly expand the good stuff!), but at least a decade of hell wrought such psychic damage that I doubt I'll ever fully recover
Companies will also do this when they are seriously considering layoffs. I suspect it's harder to prove that they're making you miserable on purpose (as they're making many people miserable, all at once, to try to force attrition) and protect yourself as indicated above in that case, but if you hear rumblings that they might be coming down and things start to get ugly for a lot of people (and you don't have a good escape plan), it's probably worth sticking around, quietly job hunting while waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Yes, I've been through this.
Yes, some people quit about a month before they would have been laid off.
Me? I got a hefty severance package, 60 days pay in lieu of notice, and the summer off while still accruing vacation that they'd have to pay out.
Wish Iâd seen this when I left my last job, but by the time I quit I was so demoralized and burnt out I didnât have the energy for any of it.
Even quitting was bullshitâthey denied me holiday pay, completely legal in the state I was in, despite telling me theyâd pay it, which fucked my finances all to hell and was like kicking me in the arse on my way out the door.
[with conviction] my problem is that I'm not making any ordered lists