Pure

Another thing that I was remembering yesterday was this bitch at the shelter. Her name was Karen and she kept telling everyone how she was a millionaire and that when she got to Florida, she was gonna contact us and give us some money. To the point where women were brown nosing her because they wanted some of her future money.

I was weirded out because I wasn't gonna treat someone differently just because they have money or because they may have money in the future.

But, I've also realized that everyone in this city knows that I was being trafficked. And possibly still am. Like, I'm stuck in this transitional housing unit and anytime I go outside, stalkers harass me. So I stay inside to avoid them. If they weren't stalking me, I'd probably be going outside regularly.

Another thing that just hit me is the anti trafficking network that was supposed to help victims of trafficking refused to help me. When I walked into their building, I actually felt scared that they trafficked women rather than help them. But, I just realized that it could be just me. It could be that they help trafficking victims where the perpetrators are broke, homeless pimps and rapists who wouldn't have two cents to rub together. The women would be putting a man in prison but she wouldn't become rich because those men often don't have any resources.

I, however, was trafficked by corporations and institutions. So, every single corporation has resources and insurance. And, per the law, it's joint and several liability. That means that every entity that participated is responsible for the entire amount. So, even though my family members, their loser friends and the men who raped me don't have no money, they were the leaders of my trafficking. Now, the corporations, institutions and landlords participated too, thinking that I would never get out.

So now the corporations are responsible for the damages that were caused by a bunch of pathetic loser brokies. So, I feel like that's why the anti trafficking network didn't want to help me. She told me, "We don't have money for any lawyers." And I felt like that was total bullshit at the time. I thought that trafficking networks had access to pro bono lawyers or non profits that helped women in need. And I believe that I was right. I believe that they refused to help me because they knew who I was, everyone in this city knows who I am, and they are protecting corporate assets. They've been counting the money that I could be awarded and they've been trying to prevent me from getting in.

Imagine that. The girl that the entire city has been helping to sex and labor traffick, becoming a millionaire. That's literally their worst nightmare. Do you know that I started working at six years old? Yeah, my mom had me cutting mounds of onion and garlic for the enormous pots of curry goat, brown stew chicken, jerk chicken and rice and peas that she was cooking for the parties. When I complained about the onions burning my eyes, she tripled the amount of garlic and that started burning my eyes too but I was too afraid to complain because I knew that she was angry about the onions. She would have me mince the garlic into miniscule pieces. Like, essentially puree it with a knife.

In a normal trafficking case, only my family would be liable and they would go to prison and I would live a poor life. But, because the corporations participated, they have to pay for the labor my family made me do. Times 3. Then they have to pay for emotional distress and they have to pay punitive damages.

Anywhere the wind blows, they are fucked. Lol. They gonna be so mad because all they had to do was allow me to work. Like, why would you participate in trafficking anyways? Are you dumb? Thought you were so slick, huh? Well, look at you now.

I just need a lawyer who's not afraid of rapists and pedophiles and their supporters. Once I get my team together, it's over for y'all. You really thought you could go up against the queen and win. I told yall, yall better start picking our my fruit. Go to the boutique and get me, I like the animal print, lizard shit. I don't care what yall make trend, bitch I still win. Dick ridding ass niggas. Ah!

So, today is supposed to be the day, wish me luck. It's literally me against the world. I don't think that I can actually so this. But what choice do I have? I gotta collect my money.

And, to be honest, it might kill me. I read an article about this person who was in a cult that trafficked them. The litigation took ten years, they won more than 5 million dollars, but they died less than a year later from all the stress. So, it's kinda a good thing, right? Because I'm sick of this world. It isn't for me. And none of them are murderers, they are rapists, pedophiles, and stalkers. They wouldn't be able to pull the trigger. And I can't take my own life. I don't know why. I have dreams of being free I guess. But if the process kills me, it'll be worth it because I'm ready to go. Like I didn't even ask to be here. I don't gaf what those spiritual woo woo people say. I did NOT choose this. Me? I would NEVER!! If I was a spirit or pure consciousness and I knew about earth, I would burn it to the ground. All of the bullshit would cease to exist. The racism, sexism, rape, pedophilia, murder, government and the traffickers they enable, it would cease to fucking exist. So, I know damn well this shit wasn't my choice. Incest?! Not my choice. Nothing would survive my wrath. And when it was done burning I would explode it, that way it'd be like it never existed.

Anyways, I was thinking about my 'friends' and they kinda set the trend, right? Like, because they couldn't see my humanity they excused my family's behavior which made it so that everyone else I met throughout life did the same thing.

I guess you could say that my family actually set the trend. But, I just never had friends, I had rapist supporters pretending to be my friends.

My sister desperately wanted me to live with her so that she could continue to exploit me. But she couldn't handle having to anticipate my daily actions. After two months she kicked me out. All because I wasn't doing what she wanted or anticipated.

That's why she would be gone all day and then return at night with her friends. It's because she actually couldn't live with me. She could only watch, observe, and plan interactions, then attempt to execute the plan.

Isn't that weird? You know, it's like men who use chat gpt to create text responses to a girl. And then when they meet in person he's just a loser creep who can't participate in a conversation. I believe they're called incels.

Which, tbh, was my fear when I first started thinking about him. I kept thinking that it would never work because he would try to take advantage of me. But I was trying to give him the benefit of the doubt. However, he wanted what Abdul got. He wanted to call me wife while he gained popularity from trafficking me.

So this girl told me that she was in an orgy over the weekend. Additionally, that weekend my parents had left a porno on the TV of an orgy. This was something they did to sexually harass me. And each time I was mortified because I didn't understand what I was seeing but I knew that it was for adults.

Anyways, when she said that I was mortified because I had just seen it, over the weekend, and it wasn't something that I wanted to be apart of. So u began avoiding her.

At the end of the week she told me that she was lying. I asked her why she would lie and she told me that she said it because she wanted to be cool and gain friends. I was even more creeped out because I couldn't understand why being in an orgy would make people want to be friends with you. It made no sense to me and made me even more scared of her.

But, in hindsight, I realize that that's what my family was doing. By soliciting people to sexually harass and sexually assault me, they were gaining lots of friends. Everyone was on their side as they campaigned against me. Teachers, students, neighbors, family members, friends and even cops.

So, Sara was right. Sexually harassing me would've gotten her lots of friends but because of my fear, her in-my-face plan didn't work. So throughout middle and high-school she didn't have many friends.

And that brings me back to him. I don't think he ever liked me. He was just participating in the trafficking enterprise. So, everything was skewed because none of them could interact with me authentically. They had to coach each other on what worked previously to keep me interested and interacting.

That's why he disappeared after our dance. All other interactions he planned what to say and anticipated my responses. They all did. So because my response didn't match what he expected, he disappeared.

So yeah. He's like that little 13yr old girl, except he's in a grown man's body. And it also explains why he never asked me out. He wasn't there for me, he was there for friends. He preferred to be able to show me off while his friends watched. As opposed to having a relationship with me.

And that reminds me of the pimp. I still don't understand why he couldn't approach me. But that's exactly why. It's because most girls are looking for friends. They are looking for men to please, so they show interest. Whereas I was unapproachable because I wasn't looking for friends or men.

And that's so true in my life. I was thinking about him and how I always felt small in his presence. I felt like he was better, richer, smarter, more everything than me. Out of my league, right? But, if that's the case, why was he participating in group stalking me? Why was he so obsessed?

Additionally, this goes for all the group stalkers, why did they have to prepare to be around me? Like literally, they had scripts that they rehearsed and practiced so that when they got around me they could insult, embarrass and trigger my dissociative disorder. Which makes sense why they couldn't be around me for very long. They had to come around with a ton of negative energy and leave quickly because they couldn't sustain looking intelligent or cool for long periods of time.