i have never felt as mature as when i finally understood (through therapy) and internalized (through emotional work) that you cannot connect and communicate with some people no matter how kind, compassionate, understanding, articulate, eloquent, or smart you are, and that sometimes a person not listening to you does not reflect on your communication skills or ability to connect or straight up intelligence. in a way, it’s letting go of the belief that you have the power to make people understand you. communication is a two-way street, and needs two willing participants. some people are just walls, and it has been unbelievably helpful for my mental and emotional health to let it slide and know that it does not affect me or my self worth. 

literally everything thing that didn’t work out was not meant to work out and ive made peace with that concept.

Might fuck around and accept the things I cannot change

my grandma told me something yesterday that pretty much changed my outlook on life. we were having dinner and talking about my future, and how all of my friends seem to be doing so much better than i am, and she looked at me and said “hey, if we all had the same path in life the road would be too crowded” and i haven’t stopped thinking about that since.

i need to stop looking for clarification/closure and accept the fact that if they did it, they meant it

what if things go well? that’s a possibility.

you need to forgive yourself for what you regret, because you didn’t know then what you know now. then you only knew so much and now you’ve learned. now you can do better for yourself. but you cannot go back with what you know now and choose differently. so let yourself move on. forgive.