Elhobsession Central

As requested by anon. :)

@taravangians-storming-balls posted a moadolin comic on reddit and received a truly bizarre hate comment, as detailed on their post about the incident. The reddit comment notably accused the comic of "providing aid and comfort to the traitor Moash," a phrasing that has since delighted denizens of tumblr. Anyway, that's the background. Now here is how characters from other Cosmere novels would go about providing aid and comfort to the traitor Moash.

1. Kelsier

Kelsier: [Watching Moash kill people, clapping and cheering] Kelsier: Woo-hoo! Nice job, son! Kelsier: I have orange slices and a juice box for you whenever you get tired! Kelsier: [shaking his head with a fond smile] Kelsier: Ah, kids.

2. Tress

Tress: Wow...it sounds like you've read a really rough time. Tress: Of course you can still stay on the ship! Tress: I mean, Laggart was cruel and mean and killed people, and we still let him stay on! It's fine! Laggart: ...I wish you wouldn't use me as an example every time we welcome aboard a new crewmember. Tress: Oh, sorry! Moash: ...What kind of place IS this?

3. Zane

Zane: Crazy? You're definitely not crazy. Zane: Killing people because a god tells you to is pretty normal, actually. Zane: And your dyed black uniform IS cool. Moash: ...Why do I feel worse every time you agree with me? Zane: I have that effect on people.

4. Dusk

Dusk: Patji is an unforgiving place. You will likely not survive. Moash: ...I was promised aid and comfort? Dusk: Oh. Hm. Dusk: Aid: If you feel a tickle, that means you are about to die. Dusk: Comfort: If you die, you will no longer suffer in this place. Dusk: Goodbye. Moash: ... Moash: I guess that technically counts.

5. Silence

Silence: We don't care about people's pasts here. Silence: This is a waystop in the Forests of Hell. Moash: Great. I'm Moash, by the way. Silence: Already more than I wanted to know. Moash: ... Moash: I think I might like it here.

6. Lightsong

Lightsong: You seem very tense. Lightsong: Please! Relax. Have a drink. It gets better. Lightsong: I know that Returning is a lot, at first. Moash: Why does everyone in this place assume I'm one of you god people??? Lightsong: Are you not? You're awfully tall and strong and handsome, so I just assumed... Lightsong: Do you want a drink anyway? Moash: Tall...? Strong...? Handsome...? Lightsong: Oh dear. I might have broken him.

7. Miles Hundredlives

Miles: I'm impressed by your resume, son. Miles: You understand who the true criminals are, and you do not let the law stop you from apprehending them. Miles: I would be honored to recruit you to the cause. Miles: Quick question--are you open to being hemalurgically spiked? Moash: Sure, whatever. Miles: You might be...pefect.

8. Raoden

Moash: All I really wanted was a good king. Moash: My whole plan was to kill the corrupt ruler and replace him with Dalinar, who I thought at the time was a good man. Moash: Then I figured humans suck so the ones who should be in charge are the Singers. Moash: But you! Everyone says you're an actual good king AND you're not human! Moash: Please let me work for you! Raoden: [Is silver] Um...I am human, though? Moash: Ew, really? Moash: Well, I'll get past it. Raoden: ... Roaden: Welcome on board, I suppose?

9. Vin

Vin: So you...killed the ruler of your city due to his crimes against your people and also more specifically the fact that he killed someone you loved? Vin: Hype. [holds up her hand for a high-five] Moash: [eying her warily] I also killed a lot of other people. Vin: Ah yes. Vin: Been there. Vin: So what do you think? Join our crew? Moash: ... Moash: Why does everyone on this planet want to recruit me?

10. Tindwyl

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