ah

went to trader joe’s today and my cashier handed me my 2.55 in change and pointed at the clock which read 2:55 and said “look at that. that’s liquid time… serendipity… have a nice ride”

the amount of maintenance being alive requires.. i got nothing against eating but 3x a day, every day? couple hours max until you feel hunger coming back? the same teethbrushing routine every morning and night forever? showering doesn't last more than a day? give me a break

the person who realised you could rearrange the letters in gossip girl to read “go piss girl” truly one of the great minds of our generation, madam your legacy

under communism the only tv show that will be allowed to air is how it's made

the sun won't consume the earth for another 5-7 billion years.. plenty of time to chill (chills for 5-7 billion years) ah - the sun!!

why don’t you shut your fucking mouth and look at the wikipedia page for sucking cock???????????

alright one sec

hey it says i gotta have my mouth open for this one boss

There needs to be 400 hours in the day so I have more time to do fuck all

8 hours for work, 8 hours for sleep, 384 hours for what we will...