be gentle

thank you. you were amazing. is such a devastating goodbye in literally any circumstance. neil is a poet.

one thing about neil is that he's extremely calculated and genuinely does not give a fuck about 90% of people. and the 10% of people he Does care about he's still willing to manipulate and use for what he views as the best outcome (re: breaking a bone to heal it properly) and i think there's an instinct to downplay this so that neil can be the softer/less intense/emotional one to andrew's uncaring/intense/harsh demeanor bcus there's an obsession in our culture with opposites attract (re: heteronormativity) but it does their dynamic a huge disservice to ignore the Basis of andreil. which is the understanding they have of each other + their reasons + their reactions and how extremely similar they are.

sorry i'm being an absent friend i'm being an absent self too

"all you ever do is complain" that's not true. I also resent.

computah show me a way out that isn’t through