PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
shark vs the universe
pixel skylines
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macklin celebrini has autism
@theartofmadeline
Product Placement
Game of Thrones Daily
Sweet Seals For You, Always
RMH
todays bird
Noah Kahan
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
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JVL
untitled
Peter Solarz
ojovivo
Discoholic đĒŠ
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@sageofsnark
Self Love
Me: you have got to stop watching creepy videos on YouTube! It just makes you afraid of the basement and the dark and monsters! Do you love yourself?!
Enzo: No, apparently I do not love myself because I just love creepy pasta videos even though they scare me!!
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Misdirection
Enzo: what's 1,000 plus 1,000?
Me: 2,000.
Enzo: what's infinity plus infinity?
Me: I don't know, 2 infinity.
Enzo: no. It's just infinity. Infinity keeps going.
Misdirection
Enzo: what's 1,000 plus 1,000?
Me: 2,000.
Enzo: what's infinity plus infinity?
Me: I don't know, 2 infinity.
Enzo: no. It's just infinity. Infinity keeps going.
Ok, Google
Enzo: Ok, Google, wake me up at 3 in the morning!
Me: Ok GOOGLE, CANCEL THE 3 AM ALARM!!!
Ok, Google, wake me up in time to play DS for a few seconds before camp tomorrow!
Enzo is figuring out how the new Google Home works
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Don't put that on me
Enzo: that's creepy.
Me: creepy pasta.
Enzo: no, it just looks creepy. And don't put that joke on me. Creepy pasta is a real Mario hack.
Spoiled
Enzo: and we can each have 3 Oreos.
Me: ... I want one more.
Enzo: !!!
Me: I'm the mama!!
Enzo: okay, I can spoil you.
Rite of Passage
Me: the end. And you've just read your first Harry Potter book. It's a rite of passage.
Enzo: what? Let me see.
Me: no, it's a thing. Just, like, a thing that means you're ... I mean. It's a thing kids do?
Foresight
Enzo called the elevator shaft a tomb right before we got on. Shit.
Enzo picked his favorite games for these shoes.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Discreet
Enzo: MOM! The commercial said the Cartoon Network app is for 18 and older!!
Me: oh? Well, sorry.
Enzo: But it's too late because I already have it! *Whispers* Don't tell anyone, okay? It's a secret!
I'll be reborn as a person because that would be really stressful to my mom if I was reborn a dog, to have to give birth to claws and stuff.
Enzo, explaining the finer details of his belief in reincarnation
A Yak
Enzo: mama. I drew myself different. I drew myself with a beard. Wait till you see how I drew myself. Do I look like a yak??!
Me: let me see. Yes, yes you do.
Enzo: UGH! What a rude word to say!
Another Name For Mama
Enzo just called me The Big C. Like, literally "The Big C." I asked him what it means and he said it's another name for mama. Which is cool, because I thought he was calling me a cunt.
Magic Potion
Waitress: Just ask if you have any questions!
Enzo: I have a question! When my mama was asleep I put a magic potion on my butt!!
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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No! Don't eat him! Not again.
Enzo Jurassic Park commentary
Little rule breaker
Enzo: MOM! The commercial said the Cartoon Network app is for 18 and older!
Me: oh? Well, sorry.
Enzo: but it's too late because I already have it!! *whispers* Don't tell anyone, okay? It's a secret!