Mismatched

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YOU ARE THE REASON


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@sadsillywords
Mismatched

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Addiction
1:30AM
Displacement
I wish I could articulate to you
how much I appreciate your concern.
However, it appears I’m no longer human enough
I feel out of place,
Surrounded by strangers I’ve known for years
I’m conscious of every breath I take.
Would it shock you if I forgot your name?
Would you be sad if I introduced you as “someone I knew”?
I don’t want to hurt you,
I owe you so much.
But there are demons in my chest,
and they’re eating away at my heart.
I feel like a ghost, floating amongst beings that I know I
Once Was
but now I’m something separate, something less
I seems I have not only forgotten who you are,
But I have also forgotten who I am.
The Desert

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My Reality
There’s someone who lives in my brain
They tell me that I am all that remains
Everyone else that I love and I know
They aren’t really real, they’re all just for show
I reach out for someone to take hold of my hand
To tell me I’m not alone and I have some great plan
But it seems as though everything is drifting away
As I drown in a sea of merlot and chardonnay
The person who sits grinning inside my head
They tell me that I would be better off dead
If nothing is real then why am I still here?
If nothing is real then there’s nothing to hold dear
I clutch at bottles and flasks and pencils and ink
I try to reason, deduce, and to think
If this world isn’t real then why would I imagine such pain?
The voice says it’s because I feel such deep shame
It’s self-induced punishment for all that I’ve done
And some days I think that that little voice has won
BUT I must remember all of those who give me strength
I must keep them in mind and give my life length
I must hold my head up and continue to swim
I ought to keep myself together and live on a whim
The little person who resides within my mind
Screams, twists, and anguishes, yelling “YOU ARE MINE!”
I must gain the power to crush that small voice
That sadness, that weakness, so that I can rejoice
I’m leaping, I’m flying, I’m soaring through the air
I blow gracious kisses to everyone who has said “I care”
My life still feels like a dream hanging by a thread
But that dream won’t be over until I am dead.
Admire Me
Who determines what is right or wrong?
People can’t understand words
Neither can I
They are just Things
Everything is Things
I’m sorry
What does that mean?
Why do I always feel sorry?
What am I sorry for?
Either way,
Please forgive me.
If I could ask every person on this planet one question,
Maybe it would be
“Do you like me?”
I suppose there’s no right or wrong answer
But the preferred answer would certainly be
“Why yes, of course!
You are my universe, my everything!”
Life on Earth
Why am I still living
My breath forms the stars
Life emerges from under my fingernails
My eyes reflect all that feels sadness
I see you
You’re so beautiful
Every day passes in fast forward
I don’t even experience them anymore
I wish I could remember what it feels like
to feel another human being’s touch
I wish I could kiss you just once
My world is condensed like condensed milk
Sweet, but impractical
I’m drowning in the blood of everyone I’ve ever loved
I’m sinking in the desert
only the sand is my heart, shattered into microscopic pieces
Sunglasses cause the sunlight to Bounce
I’m dying at last
Except…
Do I want to die?
Or do I want to live after all?
Unreciprocated
Merlot
Maybe if I get drunk enough
I’ll be able to see you in front of me
And then I can tell you how sorry I am
I can tell you how much I love you
Maybe if I get drunk enough
I can forget how lonely I am
Because in my mind, you’ll be with me
I miss you everyday
Not even I know it some days, but I do
Talking to you feels like home
Being with you feels like paradise
I’ll accept that you love her, since she loves you
I’ll accept that you’ll never know I love you
Just please,
Spend a little more time by my side

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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40% off all shirts until midnight
you can get any of the shirts designed BY ME on sale 40% off until midnight tonight so don’t hesitate to go check it out
they’re having the sale today as well so if you missed out last time now’s your chance!!
40% off all shirts until midnight
you can get any of the shirts designed BY ME on sale 40% off until midnight tonight so don’t hesitate to go check it out
Lonely Letters 2
Dear old lover,
I cannot call you that
Lover implies that the feelings were
Mutual
But I never did ask you how you felt
I hope you find warmth in her embrace
I hope you find happiness behind her lips
I hope you remember my face
only long enough to smile fondly
before returning to a Brighter lover
One who can actually call you that
How are you doing?
I hope you find that,
even if only a little,
you miss me.
Sincerely,
A hopeless romantic
Aphrodite's Curse
goodbye man shirt available [ here ] at the mama pajamas store

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Haiku 11
The perfect person
Is how I would describe you
Except you are flawed
Girl