You monsters are people

I don’t know who I am. I want to be something I can never be. I try so hard every day. But in the end, I hate myself for what I’ve become … My head just doesn’t work right. I know I should be happy with what I have, but I hate living … I need help. There is one person that could help, but she won’t. I need to find someone else. I think I love her, but she could never love me. I don’t know why I try. Oh fuck. I sound so pitiful. People would laugh at this if they read it. I hate being laughed at. But they won’t laugh after they’re scraping parts of their parents, sisters, brothers, and friends from the wall of my hate. Please. Someone, help me. All I want is something small. Nothing big. I just want to be happy… . Oh God, I don’t want to live. Will I see it to the end? What kind of dad would I make? All humans are evil. I just want to end the world of evil… . If there was a God, he wouldn’t let me feel the way I do… . Love isn’t real, only hate remains.

His conscience is clearly visible in the passage he wrote after killing his parents but before the attack at the school the next day: 

At the time of filming, he weighed 112 pounds, that is, 51 kg with a height of 6 feet, which is very small.

That's what he said about his love of sweets:

"Candy just looks nice and smells nice, unlike those nasty burgers and pepperoni pizza".