Sadis' Lair

Wane wasn’t too prone to technology; It seemed too strict, something that contained her from doing what she truly wanted. 

Most of her time living in Alaska was used to please her cravings for adventure and freedom, cravings that the forest could easily please.

That fact had made of her a girl not fond of tiny spaces, or things that need rules outside of her physical control; and that was the reason behind her discontent right now, as she and her sister Loan entered the mall’s arcade.

The place was full of people, kids running throughout the little space left in between the crowds, adults playing in flashy big machines, and the others were something between her age and older than Loan, all of them either chatting, changing some weird cards, eating, looking at videos.

The place seemed to be alive; as if everything before her had a function and place to be. For a brief moment Wane recalled her days in Toronto when she hanged out with the parkour club of the city… it had that same feeling but in a smaller place.

A really, really, small place.

“Uhm, Loan,” the afford mentioned girl fidgeted in place, “can’t we just go to a park? Don’t you have something to play on your PSP?”

“We could buuuut…” Loan started to scratch her neck, “I wanted to try a new game with you, I’m sure you are going to love it,” she then proceeded to point at a gaming station nearby.

Wane was resilient at first, but the odd shape of the station got the better of her. The machine had four platforms, each one with a tiny railing. As soon as she stood a foot upon the platform's floor it was clear for her that she could move without worrying about getting out of the machine.

Wane kept inspecting while Loan paid the nearby cashier. There was a big screen above them, held in place by a wide holder stand, and just below the screen, four headsets laid on a table. Loan took two of them and suited Wane with one before reaching the platform just next to her sister, all the while a cheerful smile made her weird usual self more charming.

“Wow, you really look pumped out about this,” Wane commented, her headset in position, two eye-shaped screens showing her the world through the camera of the device, “I’ve only seen you like this around Bobby when I got you two in the middle of— “

“Eek~!” Loan squealed as her hand hushed her sister, “Shhhh, you can’t talk about that in public!”

Wane laughed off at the expenses of her sister, making Loan softly groan, “Seriousl- hahaha, fooling around with you two never gets old,” she grinned, “so what about this weird helmet? The world looks weird using this.”

“It’s a VR headset,” Loan replied as she put herself on the other headset, “once I set everything up the game will start. We may start at a checkpoint so be wary for anything.”

“You can send me a dragon if you’d like, whatever this game is I’m sure I can handle it,” she said with a cocky grin, her legs firm and her fist raised, “lanza’ esa verga!”

Loan nodded to the man in charge of the station and the game started. A blink of light blinded the girls, the world that awaited them now replaced by a black void and a loading bar right in the middle of their eyesight.

“So, how do we play this? I see no controls.”

“There are little cameras around us, those will make your whole body a control,”

“Wow… Fino!” she screamed in total glee, “I’m already liking this game!”

And then the game started, a deer abruptly jumping towards Wane.

“AAAAAH GET IT OFF! SACAME DE AQUI!” the girl screamed as she fell to the ground, now replaced by green grass. Brown, purple and blue shadows, and what appeared to be a forest were the only things on sight, but she couldn’t focus on details at the time, all that mattered was to get out of there as soon as possible.

“Wane wait!” Loan called out to her but it was too late, the girl had run so fast that the sound wasn’t able to catch her, in fact, she was going so fast that not even her mind could catch up to her speed and see what was happening. A vine on the road finally got her attention, and her whole momentum too, making her character fall in-game, and by proxy fooling her into falling to the real ground too.

She was fast to recover, and now with no deer in sight, Wane took her time to see her surroundings. A dense forest clouded her vision, one with humongous trees from which colorful bright fungi sprouted out. The branches, tangled like a web above her, held leaves two times bigger than her and three times wider.

Before her a tray of dirt marked her previous steps, “dang it, I left Loan alone.”

“Yeah, it would be helpful to have you here…”

“Loan?” she turned to her left, “Where are you?”

“We are still at the arcade, remember?” Loan left out a little laugh, “I just need to deactivate the sound handicap so you can hear me.”

“Vaina, I forgot…” she then proceeded to stretch quickly, “is the deer still there?”

“Don’t worry, I handle it. Now get back here.”

“Yes ma’am,” Wane ran again, this time noticing how the world blurred before her by the sheer force of her speed. She stopped right before meeting the multicolored blurry mess from afar, “I think that… wait.”

The blurry mess of colors were monsters, lizardmen, orcs, golems, all with different sizes and shapes, all towered by an imponent red dragon whose eyes looked down at the creature in the middle of it all. 

“Is that..?”

A blonde paladin of muddy armor, with mace and shield at hands, striking at every foe with enough force to make the ground below her shake.

“Loan?”

The paladin pulled her shield above her, watchful of the dragon’s presence, and threw her mace at the Golems legs, effectively striking him down for enough time to make it fall, its body now a perfect tool for Loan. She used the golem to impulse herself and jumped towards the dragon’s open mouth; her shield and her strength proving themselves more than enough to stop the drake from eating her.

“Wow wow, hold on there.”

The paladin gripped the dragon's nose and pulled herself up to the beast’s face. Once above the creature, she stood there, glaring at the pitiful monster that dared to defy her. “In this place, I’m more than just Loan,” she claimed, “here, no one can look down on me.”

She shoved her arms inside the dragon’s eyes.

The creature screeched, a guttural sound whose echo pushed the web of branches around them. Loan pulled out her arms from the beast, a smile on her face. She looked down and waved at Wane.

“I’ll get rid of this dragon! Can you distract the others in the meantime?!”

Wane looked at the foes below, bruises and bleeding scars in all of them, Loan had left them all worn up and weak just for her.

Wane glanced down and found a pair of daggers at her waist waiting to be unsheathed. It was clear for her what to do next, so she took both daggers and leaped forward, leaving a trail of red dust behind her.

Her little body moved at speeds that made her look like she was hovering above the ground, and with her grace at combat to add up, the fight looked more like a dance. 

She twirled from one enemy to the next, using each monster as a way to impulse herself and keep the dance going. A trail of blood behind her was the only remnant of the wounds she inflicted.

It was hard to even imagine that even with all the fun she was having her eyes hadn't stopped looking at her sister.

And how not to? Loan was mercilessly beating the dragon with her bare hands, making of the creature a crawling mess of tears and agony whose life was getting pulled out from its grasp with each blow.

And upon witnessing such a display of confidence and power, Wane’s heart found another reason to pound faster.

I haven’t noticed before… but Bobby was right, Loan has its own charm… she seems so confident… so happy… so…

Soon the blood wasn’t the only thing painting red the little girl’s face.

Art by: Marcustine

My thoughts about traumas coming from sexual assaults, as an AMAB, and how this can fuel a fetish that recalls those same events...

I have seen a handful of authors explain that they create art regarding a fictional relationship between a minor and an adult (or young person) as a “coping mechanism”.

I saw this approach as weird. ¿Why would this be a coping mechanism?

As someone who has tried to space out from his problems since childhood, dismissing them because “you are a boy, you should have liked that” social mentality told me to do so, it was really hard for me to realize that while it is true that it felt good at the moment; the marks left behind, and the fact that someone used me as an object... made it clear for me. 

I hated it, and probably those other authors did too.

Yet both those artists and I keep going towards these kinds of stories and art. why? because those are safes places, places that can ask the question “what if you were never abused?”

In fiction, you can make sure no one is using the other just for the sake of pleasing themselves.

In fiction, you are assured that no part is going to hurt the other.

In fiction, you know that feelings matter.

On some level, these places give back some of the control lost from those traumatic moments, and that feeling of reassurance is the one that gives meaning to the “coping mechanism” idea.

I assume is not safe to depend on these mechanisms, but at least it will help a little as the person seeks professional help.

And just to wrap this out, I just want to remark the idea that thinking that a boy will enjoy being abused by a woman is the same as a girl being abused while on drugs. 

The thing I love the most about how I have seen this ship depicted is that there is this... keyword, surrounding them: Safety. When I see these two, I can feel how safe Loan feels; she can be herself with Bobby, she can be honest to herself and the world around her, for Bobby will be there to save her in case the cruel truth gets to be too tough for her.

And Bobby? I think he just wants to protect his own home. Loan will give him the same comfort he offers to her. For him, Loan is the other part of himself his me is a we

When I see them both, is like watching a union, one person that wants to grow, heal and love themself.

Something I really like to do is give weird tittles to the chapters of my stories, something that can have a meaning beyond the overall content of that chapter alone.The first chapter of My reason called Meeting the Cursed Dragon, can have two meanings: Loan, a person who prefers isolation. Her videogames’ skill could make her someone important, a champion of the E-sports scene even. But just like a cursed dragon, she doesn't have the strength to show her true self, and so she chooses to stay alone with her hoard. But what if Bobby is the one cursed dragon? a kid that had to strive for the happiness of not only himself but also others. The curse made him a selfless kid. So selfless that he is not yet aware of his skills or likes. All that potential held back by the fear of eclipsing others... A dragon so weak that can't even grasp the idea of having a power to call his own.

I’ve been trying to find a confortable platform for giving my thoughts and place the short stories popping in my mind. 

Twitter gives little space for work. Facebook... hard to use and to be seen...