bittersweet life

So I have been setting this prank up for about 3 weeks now, but unfortunately the fruits of my labor came to fruition yesterday. All for the best I guess.

Background: My wife and I are very healthy and we eat the same thing for breakfast every day, well maybe a solid 350 days a year. It is egg whites and toast. It has got to the point that if I don’t eat this for breakfast my entire day feels “off.” I put salsa on my eggs while she uses ketchup and she has to have ketchup or else she will not eat breakfast. We have a backup bottle or two in the pantry just in case she runs out.

3 weeks ago: I notice that her bottle is running pretty low and she has to actively shake the bottle to get the last remnants out. We are pretty earth conscious as well, so nothing goes to waste, use until the last drop! There is still just enough left in the bottle that I can tell she is thinking that she shouldn’t recycle it just yet and puts it back into the fridge. I notice this thought process going on in her head and decide I should mess with her. Once we finish up breakfast she goes to get ready. I take one of the full bottles of ketchup and add just enough to the almost empty bottle so that she will have the amount needed for breakfast the next day. Breakfast the next day rolls around and she does the same thing adds ketchup to her breakfast and decides there is just enough to save and puts it back in the fridge. I again refill the bottle with just enough for the next day. I should also mention that she is short, I hid the refill bottle at the top of the pantry so she could not see that it had been opened and used.

2 weeks ago: After 7 days slyly watching her add ketchup to her breakfast I can begin to see an intrigued look on her face when she is prepping her breakfast. She doesn’t say anything, but you can tell she has taken notice of the bottle. This goes on for another 7 days.

1 week ago: Breakfast continues to go off without a hitch and every time she adds the ketchup to her breakfast she gets a little twinkle in her eye, like she really really wants to say something about it, but doesn’t want me to make fun of her being crazy and thinking the ketchup bottle is never ending. To the point that she will look at me, start to say something and then stop herself change the subject and put the bottle away. I have never looked forward to breakfast so much in my entire life!

All this week: She is on the verge of saying something everyday. Its becoming hard to not laugh while watching her add the ketchup to her eggs, but I am laughing hysterically on the inside. At this point I have used roughly a half bottle of ketchup refilling the other one. This is all I can imagine when watching her

Yesterday: She adds ketchup to her breakfast and looks me directly in the eye and dead serious says, “/myname/ we have a fucking magical ketchup bottle.” I could not control my laughter and proceed to loose my shit while she tries to explain to me how she has used the exact same bottle of ketchup for 3 weeks and it has been almost “empty” the entire time. She now thinks I am laughing because of her belief in magic and she is trying as hard as possible to convince me that she is serious and it IS magic. I proceed to go into the pantry, take out the half empty bottle of ketchup and place it on the counter. It all finally clicks in her head and at that moment the empty ketchup bottle clicked into my head, but don’t care because I made a magic ketchup bottle happen so I am essentially Jesus.