THEORY Aaron Taylor Johnson’s old wife is actually Toni Colette in costume as they’re both working on a long-term, top secret boyhood-esque project about predation and grooming in Hollywood

The brothels where philosophers hung out but not sexist. Please

No matter how objectively terrible or strange a probiotic drink actually tastes I find it delicious. This chocolate kefir is chunky and bitter but it is the greatest thing I’ve ever drank. I know kombucha is gross it is like a vinegar and mucus flavored soda but it tastes so good to me at the same time is it because I took too many antibiotics as a child

One of my favorite YouTube videos is where a guy puts the inside of a fleshlight into a jar and sucks the excess air out with a pen and he uses a cucumber to demonstrate the suction but the cucumber gets stuck and he shoves pliers into it to try to get it out I cannot find it I’m gonna freak out

Dogs can be taught many useful things, but not if we forgive them every time they obey their own nature