oh, the horror.

I have not made a list of movies I’ve seen/enjoyed in a while, so here are some good bloody films you animals (like you @havanapitbull). I’ve been on a J-Horror kick:

JIGOKU / HELL / THE SINNERS OF HELL

A cast of terrible people meet on the border of hell itself and talk about how their horrible lives are all related in horrible ways. The psychedelic cinematography, goofy gore and actual lake of blood make this worth seeing.

NOBI / FIRES ON THE PLAIN

A Japanese soldier tries to survive the war at the cost of his own humanity. Fun!

FUDOH: THE NEXT GENERATION

First of a trilogy of Young Yakuza films by Takashi Miike, you have the extreme gore and weird sex hangups in his later films but this one was filmed in the 90′s, so nostalgia I guess. There’s a tattoo made of human blood on our main character and also a vaginal blow-dart! Miike!

GUINEA PIG: MERMAID IN A MANHOLE

Unlike the previous few Guinea Pig movies that are just hyper-realistic gore effects for an hour, you instead have a weird pseudo-romance directed and written by horror mangaka Hideshi Hino. And it shows! You have a pervert artist falling in love with a mermaid he finds exploring the sewer. As she slowly rots to death outside of her native habitat of filth, he paints her portrait using her rotting body as paint.

AI NO BOREI / EMPIRE OF PASSION

A torrid love affair ends in a murder and a dead husband thrown down a well. The rest of the movie has the wife and her lover enjoying their new life of passion and slowly worrying more and more about neighborhood gossip and a ghost showing up. This one is a slow burn, probably one of the best movies I’ve seen all month.

DEATH POWDER

People losing control of their bodies in a fetishistic cyberpunk hell. Thats really it mostly, lots of pretty pictures of flesh.

GEMINI

Shin’ya Tsukamoto is easily one of the five best directors in the world in my book, and Gemini is one of the reasons why. You have the standard tale of twin brothers torn apart at birth and one coming home for revenge against the other, but Tsukamoto delivers such a raw alien sensuality to every scene that makes you feel like a creepy voyeur into these wounded and insane lives. Its damn great.

LUCKY SKY DIAMOND

A girl wakes up in a hospital that probably isn’t a hospital. I’m not saying anymore beyond this point, its better to go in as blind as possible here. The true epitome of the inherent creepiness of VHS-quality video.

FUAN NO TANE / PET PEEVE

 1869 - Joe Sowers - not proven as victim

 1871 - Mr. Jones - body found in Drum Creek

 1872 - 2 unknown men - found on prairie

 1872 - Henry McKenzie - body mutilated

 1872 - Ben Brown 

 1872 - W.F. McCrotty        

 1873 - George Loncher & little girl  

 1873 - Johnny Boyle * - found in well  

 1873 - Dr. William York   

   ? - John Greary       

   ? - Unknown female     

   ? - Unidentified man

   ? - Dismembered parts of several victims

  Money Taken From Victims:

   40 cents or $2,000 depending on sources

    $36, finely matched team of horses

    $2,600, possibly to buy claim build home

    $38, wagon, good horse team

    $1,900, possibly to buy claim 

    $10, red pacing mare, $850 saddle

    $2,000, possibly to buy claim

Found with crushed skulls and slit throats:

Story length: Medium

–

Julia knew she was smart. She was one of those clever children, the kind of child who figures out early on that parents aren’t all-powerful and all-knowing.

The first time she realized this was when she got scared. There had been a noise in her room, coming from under her bed, or from the closet.

Julia ran down the hall, crying, “Mommy! Daddy!”

“What’s wrong, honey?”

“I huh-heard a m-monster,” Julia glubbed.

She expected them to comfort her, or roll their eyes, or get annoyed. Instead, they jumped up immediately and raced to her bedroom, where they checked under the bed, inspected the closet, and tested the window lock. They poked, prodded, and scoured every inch.

Julia caught on quickly. She knew what they were doing. By taking her fears seriously, they were showing their little girl that she was safe and loved. They had probably read about it in some book.

But the lesson Julia learned was that she had power. Thereafter, waking her parents became a nightly event. Julia would scream and cry, they would rush to her bedroom, and Julia would hide her grin behind tears. But not once did they ever complain.

One night she could stand it no longer, and she burst out laughing when Daddy fell down while examining the light fixture, as if a monster could fit up there.

“What’s so funny?” he asked, rubbing his backside.

“You,” Julia smirked. “You always believe me.”

Daddy wasn’t angry. He just looked at Mommy.

“Once,” he said quietly, “just once, we didn’t believe your brother.”

And Julia, an only child, did not sleep well that night.

–

Story length: Long

–

All my life, I’ve fostered a deep love for Halloween. Everything about it makes me tingle with joy and the expectation of a fun, spirited time. I mean, the weather is superb; the leaves of yellow, red, and brown are gorgeous; the decor inspires my infinite imagination; the treats are mouth-watering; the movies and shows leave me in a perpetual state of high anxiety…what’s not to love?

Within the last couple years, I’ve become old enough to dress up for the holiday again. As a child, I, of course, slipped into a costume for the night. Then, as a preteen, it occurred to me that I was too old for such shenanigans, much like how it came to me that I was no longer little enough to play with my Barbies and dolls. I recently dove into my mid-twenties, right as my daughter, Olivia, entered her toddler years, and it dawned on me that I am finally at an acceptable age to don a costume again. In addition to this, there is nothing more fun than having your child pick out a costume and trick-or-treat.

I still love Halloween. I don’t think anything could ever make me stop enjoying the night; however, I now approach Halloween like I’d approach a stranger in a dark alley: with caution.

Olivia was about one and a half. She dressed as a dragon that year and looked absolutely adorable (I know, I’m biased, but it’s true). We trick-or-treated for an hour before my sleepy baby vocalized by way of a tantrum that she’d had enough festivities and was ready for bed. I’d worked all day, so I was a bit relieved that we could head home. The walk home was nice. The sky was a deep slate gray, as it wasn’t yet fully night. There was a cool breeze that carried to my ears the gleeful voices of children all throughout the neighborhood.

At home, I bathed my cranky baby, slapped a fresh diaper and PJs on her, and tucked her in, planting a kiss on her forehead before leaving her to drift into sleep. For myself, I changed out of my headless horseman attire, grabbed a beer, snagged a few chocolates out of Olivia’s pumpkin bucket, and settled into the couch to watch a horror film on TV. I sipped my beer, ate my stolen bounty, and cringed into the cushion at every jump scare. When the credits of the movie rolled, I turned the TV off and showered, ready for bed.

I was getting myself some ice water when there was a knock at my door. I checked the oven clock: 10:39. Trick-or-treating ended at eight, but I figured maybe some teenagers were trying to stretch out the night or perhaps wanted to dabble in some practical jokes, like ding dong ditch. I tiptoed to the door and peered through the peephole. A weeping girl, probably about sixteen or so, stood on my welcome mat, mascara running down her face. She was dressed in an outfit that reminded me of Little Red Riding Hood.

‘Fuck. What’s this about?’

I opened the door.