Goodnight I’m so tired today.

Interact with me if you either think I’m beautiful or do not want me to take my life. Or some other thing.

I don’t really care about limited internet access for under sixteens but if they’re going to do that then they have to raise the voting age in my country. You don’t even think they’re old enough to scroll on a video game Reddit, why should they vote at sixteen.

Hello everybody do you guys value my life……. Interact with me if you value my liiiiife……

Being curious about romance makes me feel like such a filthy pervert… Like yes, I wonder what kissing is like since so many people have experienced it, usually at an age way younger than my own… But I feel like a lustful entity for thinking about it. I’m very inexperienced and I’m quite content with that fact since I’ve never wanted to pursue it, and I wouldn’t want to do anything I regret just to “fit in” when I don’t even have any peers to fit in with… But I do want to know what it’s like one day. I want to experience being loved even though I don’t think I’m capable. I don’t think anybody will be content with a girl they can’t sleep with, and considering I’m not very pretty I’m not going to be seen as a trophy and worth being with despite the flaws. I want to know what it’s going to be like. I just don’t think that future exists.

I’m begging constantly and I get no response.

Even if what I am and what I was doing was purely for attention I’ve realised that even that isn’t enough and time again people have chose to ignore me.

Bloodletting.

I am so hard to like. People hate my company. I’m not funny. I’m ugly. I’m worthless. I have no hobbies or ambitions. I just want to be killed. People do not like talking to me and I can always fucking feel it.

Is there a way I can become better. I want people to like me.

I am so often reminded how I am the lowest person.

I’m constantly spending money because I want to feel happier but then it doesn’t make me feel better and I feel worse for spending so much. I just don’t know what to do.

I don’t think I can do it.

I want to get better I want to get worse.

What am I meant to do.

Nobody is welcoming me and nobody wants me to be get better. People criticise me for wallowing where I am but nobody actively wishes for me to get better. Not genuinely. It’s all so passive and fake.