Baby

Did anyone else go through a random recovery where your mental health just improved in general which allowed you to kick your ED mentality to the curb and see through body dysmorphia but then gained a decent amount of weight making you unhappy with your body and reverting back to ED habits even though you don’t have the same obsession anymore and now feel like you don’t really have an ED anymore because it’s not that bad you just have disordered eating and also kinda wish your mental health would just fuck up so you could at least go back to being a real Anorexic/bulimic ect. Because boy this feels shit and confusing and I really do feel like I’m faking it now.

Too real

just a PSA that if you’re an edblr account that fat shames/body shames, do not interact, do not follow me. I don’t support that here.

my fingers smell of smoke and theres this faded hickey on my neck and my hair is beggining to feel to long and every single time i go back to feeling more and more dead inside. maybe i’ve been dead all this time and this is how i tell people that i have already died. maybe thats why i can feel my ribs again and my pelvis bones when i sit down and in my chest there is this euphoric feeling of finally being cared for again.

the way not eating is actually a lot of work. I have to plan according to what im gonna eat when, who’s gonna be there, coming up with lies, its a whole full time job frfr

i skipped dinner and i still have not woken up thinner. i feel scammed

I like to keep my metabolism on its toes,like what's it gonna be?starvation or 6k calories today??