andrew

But when I'm feeling down, it's almost immediate rock bottom. My life is over. I've never experienced happiness before. Smiling? I don't know her. I've always been miserable and I always will be and there's no hope to be had because I will be depressed for the rest of my life now (I logically know it will probably be better by tomorrow).

No matter how I'm feeling, my brain refuses to acknowledge that this state will pass and that I haven't secretly felt like this all my life. So right now, I am tempted to say I am doing pretty well and don't have many of these fallouts, but I can't actually say that for sure. My brain isn't reliable when it comes to judging that. But it also means that when I am feeling down, my brain convinces me that there's no light at the end of the tunnel. And that can get dangerous really fast.

I'm sad that in the spiritual community (yes even Christianity and Islam) ego has somewhat been demonized or seen as something that should be stripped of to achieve enlightenment.

In my most humble opinion, the ego is the part of you that protects you. I mean think about it, when someone is treated unfairly they don't initially feel like "Oh I wish the best for the people who abuse/mistreat me, the BEST DAY OF THEIR LIFE so they may change!" No they're most likely going to see through the bullshit of the situation and want revenge/revolution for what they feel.

And that is GOOD. FUCKING BE ANGRY AT WHO HAS WRONGED YOU. FUCKING FIGHT FOR WHO YOU ARE AND WHAT YOU WANT.

That's what the ego is for but please keep it in check! Don't go around solving your problems by aimlessly angry punching, actually use your higher self/brain/or whatever to solve the issue while appeasing your ego!

(Also there's a huge difference between respecting your ego and being a dick. Please, respect your ego but keep it at a reasonable level)

Did you guys know I'm a therian? I'm a wolf. I have been ever since I was a kid. And I do integrate this into my spiritual practice. You don't have to like therians. You can think about them what you want, honestly. I'm happy, I'm healthy, and I'm also a really cool wolf.

I've realized that visualizing myself in wolf form has actually helped me do some pretty intense magic. I think it's because I allow myself to be more authentic like that and I am holding back less on allowing myself to have darker attributes. I view the animal part of myself as a representation of the 'dark side' of my nature, while my human part is the light one. Instinct vs intellect. Animal and human. Combined in me.

I feel really comfortable identifying as a therian nowadays but I've never shared it online, mainly because I haven't known that label for very long even though it always applied to me in some way. Also because I've seen the shit other therians get online for simply... existing. But I've decided now that other people's opinions don't really matter because they don't know me at all, so, there's that.