vent blog

unfortunately for the both of us, i really like you

“that’s ok i understand!!!!” but it actually made me sick to my stomach

it’s a wild ride having “please don’t leave me” and “it’s your loss if you do” daddy issues with “please don’t yell at me ill cry” and “fuck around find out” mommy issues

Nobody is afraid to lose me. I never mean that much.

“don’t let it bother u” baby i’m gonna be bothered by this for the next 10 years

I realized today that I have stopped living life. I’m literally just trying to get to the next day, just living in the thought of tomorrow. I‘m not living, I’m waiting. And the problem is, I don’t know what I’m exactly waiting for. I‘m kind of scared for what it might be.

if ur not borderline i promise u that u don’t get it. ppl have tried to tell me that they understand how obsessive i am in relationships because they get mad when their bf is talking to other girls. no. u don’t get it. and u should be happy u don’t get it. it’s not cute to have panic attacks in the middle of work because ur partner texted u in a “different tone”. it’s not fun having ur whole day ruined because u just remembered they have friend and ppl they care about outside of u. it’s not normal to genuinely want to die because they didn’t compliment u with the same enthusiasm they usually do. it’s scary and embarrassing and guilt inducing. u don’t get it and i’m so glad u don’t but pls stop trying to relate to something that u physically can’t. it doesn’t make me feel better it makes me feel invalidated and embarrassed because u DONT know how deep it goes.

Ok so we all love a hyperfixation but does anyone else ever avoid certain things because you feel like you don't have the time to be fixated on that, or that you aren't in the right headspace for this to become your latest obsession