Ahem. Excuse me
I'm so glad my friends tolerate my bullshit
Putting this as my pinned as a warning to all those who wander into my domain
Another hapless wanderer taken by my curse
noise dept.
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
Not today Justin
tumblr dot com
Monterey Bay Aquarium
DEAR READER

Kaledo Art

Origami Around

#extradirty
One Nice Bug Per Day
i don't do bad sauce passes
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
Today's Document
Cosmic Funnies
NASA
Cosimo Galluzzi

oozey mess

ellievsbear
sheepfilms

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@saccharinekat
Ahem. Excuse me
I'm so glad my friends tolerate my bullshit
Putting this as my pinned as a warning to all those who wander into my domain
Another hapless wanderer taken by my curse

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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sea creature
in a funny spot where i would like to be perceived as a woman but not in a "oh thats a cis woman" way. like i don't want to hide that im trans at all. if you see me looking cunted up like crazy and then a deep ass Had a Beard In High School voice comes out of my mouth you are fuckin welcome. you should be so thankful to be graced by the presence of the hottest bitch on the planet
when you see a big girl with broad shoulders and unshaved legs and shittily applied makeup like she just started doing it for the first time three months ago and a voice like the faggiest bitch on the planet you should be doing this

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expectations
Well out of the blue I just remembered today the time I accidentally joined the cast of a production of The Princess Bride….in the middle of the production.
And you’re gonna just leave us there
I mean, if you guys wanna hear the story, it is a pretty fun one
Okay, so this is what happened,
Some years ago (6? 7 years ago, I think?) there was a pirate exhibit at the state museum. We had actual artifacts from the Queen Anne’s Revenge, creepy wax dummies, historical costumes etc, it was awesome.
I was really into Pirates of the Caribbean at the time, because I played the mmorpg with some high school friends of mine (and some of their parents sometimes, who also got addicted to it), so of course when they announced “Pirate Night at the Museum”, in which visitors were encouraged to dress up, I was over the moon. So I’m there with my friends, my parents, and my sisters, running around the exhibits after the museum is technically closed.
They replaced the creepy wax dummies with people in costume at this point, and it was pretty epic.
The highlight of the night would be a showing of The Princess Bride. The movie would play on the big screen while actors would be on a stage below, acting the whole thing out word for word and shot for shot as it happened. Any audience members who knew lines were encouraged to shout them out as they heard them.
Here’s the thing. My parents love that movie. Like you don’t understand they were quoting it to us in its entirety when we were still in highchairs. I could reenact the battle of wits scene before I ever actually watched it. So my family sits in the front row, behind the railing, quoting everything right along with the actors and film.
And then comes the part in the Pit of Despair with the Albino. And the cast didn’t have anyone on the stage with Wesley. I don’t know if the Albino couldn’t make it that night, or if they’d never cast him, but it was really weird to see Wesley just lying on the stage awkwardly while the Albino is supposed to be treating his injuries.
I started twitching. My mom and sister look at me and they’re like “do it.” And one of the ushers is like “you know the part? do it”
So I launch over the railing, run up onto the stage, and take over from there, doing my best impression of the character. Being that I was a 5′2″ blonde girl in a corset and puffy sleeves, Wesley had some trouble keeping a straight face.
Then they got to the scene with Humperdink telling the guard to clear out the Thieves’ Forest, and…they didn’t have the guard either. So my twin sister up in the audience is like “hang on, I got this” and then she launches over the railing to make sure Humperdink isn’t just sitting awkwardly talking to thin air.
This meant that yes, I got bopped on the noggin by Fezzik, and yes, my sister got to do the “Give us the key.” “What key?” “Fezzik, tear his arms off.” “Oh, you mean this key!”
They made up stay on stage and take a bow with the cast when it was over, it was hilarious. Then the next year, since they still had the exhibit, the museum called my sister and was like, “So….that was super fun last year. Do you and your sister want to be audience plants and do it again this year?”
The answer, naturally, was heck yes. Since we had new volunteers playing Count Rugen and Inigo this time, this also led to my sister actually choreographing their fight scene herself. Which was awesome.
My favorite part is that this is entirely in tone for Princess Bride.
please stop forgetting that sink dog canonically has a soap dispensing vagina like the original artist who made her up drew her with one she is not a sexless icon she is and has been fetish material the whole time and that does not take away from her value or charm
let’s wax poetic about the themes of something we made up due to our lack of knowledge about someone else’s art
i’m struggling to find the original upload but i know it exists and i’m not crazy. SHES PORN AND THATS PART OF WHAT MAKES HER GOOD.
vagina is highlighted because i misclicked also
Also probably related.
if I hear the phrase "vote with your dollar" one more time we're building the Stalin canal

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I'll lay 1000 damn daniel eggs before i let this company die
Translation: "Chancho! I'm leaving now dude, i'm leaving to go work now dude."
"If someone breaks in dude, you beat the ever-loving shit out of them real hard dude, you beat the shit out of them, Chancho, you hear me?"
"You just beat the shit out of anyone who breaks in!"
translation notes:
The dogs name is 'Chancho', a slang word for a pig. Basically, its like the dog is named 'piglet' 🥺
I fucking can't with his little face
what is THE worst thing you've ever drank. all liquids acceptable. please tell me what it was, bonus points for why
Hey whoa hi. Hello. I am looking directly into your ear canal. What do you mean you drank a tube of virus concentrate.
So, I was working in a lab, right? My job in the lab was preparing a pure, concentrated enough sample of virus. This is tricky since, y'know, viruses require hosts to replicate, but you then need to get the host cells (and the pieces of the host cells that died!) out of the sample while still keeping the viruses. Once I'd finished and the samples had been sent to the database for analysis as well as a second one sent to be frozen for future reference, there was still some left over that needed to be disposed of.
I, knowing that this was a once in a lifetime opportunity, waited carefully for the lab director to be deep in conversation with someone else on the other side of the laboratory. And then I took my chance.
Test tubes, as it turns out, are really bad as shot glasses. Their shape turns any liquid inside into a stream, so you really can't knock it back quickly - it takes a couple seconds. Additionally, the best way I can describe the taste of virus concentrate was "sterile rot". A very unique kind of bad! Made worse by the test tube's inefficiency as a shot glass.
(by the way we were studying bacteriophages, not animal viruses. these viruses are too specialized on attacking prokaryotes to even recognize our cells as targets at all, according to studies.)
(but also like. if the viruses managed to successfully switch hosts and killed me with a violent infection, itd still be worth it.)
(for science.)
You have a fitting blog title
this post is getting 50k easy
This WOULD be how humanity would go out though tbh
A perfect duet.
You will never escape this video as long as I am alive.
Happy 10 years of never letting you escape this video!
I FOUND THE SONG!!
Only took me 10 years!
Musician: Martin Chiang
Instrument: Dulcian
Song: Giovanni Antonio Bertoli - Sonata Prima
We're getting there little by little, sure. But it's a road.
Anyway happy international asexuality day back to work I go

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staying up past bedtime #PrincessPrivilege