sabrina carpenter

okay, but then tell me what it was you expected, sabrina? what exactly did you envision when you decided to reach out to me years after you basically gave me the middle finger and went back to your ex? nice choice, by the way. what a fucking joke.

i already said i have no idea. i mean i could have gone on pretending you don't exist. i didn't mean to fucking hurt you, and you won't believe that. you just took me by surprise and my life was chaos. yeah, clearly i got what you think i deserved.

that's true. most people are using them but glad we took the plunge. i won't mind at all. if you didn't, i would have made sure to sneak over myself. yup. he admitted in a video where we were asked our favorite song and he chose yours. it seemed to easily.

i'm glad too! i'll admit that i was nervous, but not so much anymore. you wouldn't? if we are ever at the same venue, i'll do what i can to say hi. plus let my security know so you don't get tackled! it is a lot of people's favorite, so i get why! though now if i go to get coffee, that's all i hear.

yes, i am trying to make you pine for me, bestie. because what is a friendship, if not just constantly missing each other and pining for each other? i could try my hand at a carrier pigeon. or you know... just remembering that i have a phone. but come on, it's not like i'm the busy one out of the two of us.

well, then consider it a job well done! i'm suffering from withdrawals! friendship is clearly just missing each other and making plans that never happen. do carrier pigeons exist still? i mean, that's true, we both could be better. i am not even going to play coy, i know i'm pretty busy.

but hear me out for a second; wouldn't that be a cool way to start a conspiracy theory about me? some random couple discovers an abandoned car on the side of the road. they reach out to the rental company, find out i was the one who rented it, and suddenly the story becomes that something mysterious happened to me. sure, they can see that i'm in korea, but is that really me or is it my doppelgänger? ...it did appear out of nowhere. you can't change my mind. already embraced.

i feel like there are cooler ways, but i'll give it to you! i think that a car on the side of the road, could lead to that. but that could also lead you down the path of a true crime documentary. do we really want that to happen? though i'm sure people are already convinced you have a doppelganger somewhere. see, i think that if i really wanted to, i could change your mind, but i'll let you have this.

i've seen a few crazy fan theories if you go deep enough into the reddit threads. especially the ones that think you're apart of a certain secret society that starts with an 'i' if you catch my drift. what about you? are you the type of person that likes to read a few things about yourself and have a laugh, or try to avoid them altogether?

i haven't ever gone down the reddit threads, but that is an idea. people think that you are part of that? i think that you win! i feel like there are too many for me to just name one. i try not to read them? sometimes it just happens though that i see it, i laugh but sometimes it's a lot.

it's been the best time, truly. tiring, but rewarding. i just love seeing all my fans in each city and getting to sing for them, y'know? of course you do, since you wrapped up your own tour. i saw snippets of your coachella set and you rocked that stage like nothing else. it was the performance of a lifetime.

it really is the best feeling! it always amazing to see the fans and giving them a once in a lifetime experience. i do! it's so fun and i can't believe how lucky we are that we get to do things like this. thank you! i loved doing it and surprising everyone!

honestly i haven't either so it's different from what i'm used to. i'm not disappointed at. i mean they might have especially if we ended up performing at the same places. plus the leader of my group is a fan of your song espresso so the universe definitely wanted us to meet now.

it is different, but i think it's normal now? so we are are just catching up with everyone else. if we do end up performing at the same places, i hope you know that i'm going to probably sneak to say hi at least. espresso is? clearly fate just had a hand in this.

clearly you had no idea where you were going with that.. i'm not even sure what you want me to say, if i'm being honest. did you want confirmation that it's been hard ignoring you over the past year? will that boost your ego or some shit?

i didn't, but at least i admitted it. i wasn't expecting you to say much of anything. though i wasn't expecting the petty to come out this soon. guess i shouldn't be surprised. lets not assume i need you to give me an ego boost. i was going to try to apologize...but maybe no point to that.

it's been a minute and i'm sure you're busy as hell, so i'm gonna' pretend this is an appropriate use of your time: i saw you say that shrek 2 is your favorite movie and and i just need you to know that if i don't get to watch that with you one day, then i think i've wasted my life, genuinely. @sabslynncarpenter

maybe a little busy? just a little! how would that not be an approriate use of my time? i'll always make time to sit down and watch shrek 2. is that one of your favorite movies? i need to make sure that you have taste. i feel like it might be hard to find time, but i vote that we try to make this happen.

wait, are we scheduled to show up at the same event and i didn't get the memo ? thought i'd have a few more weeks left without seeing your face. you know, with us both enjoying our free time very far away from each other. but yeah, guess i have to be ready to smile all pretty for the cameras. just keep it a little more chill this time around. i'll just process it by writing, but i doubt that surprises you. at least we have one single thing in common.

i was half listening when i was told what i had coming, but i thought i heard your name mentioned. pretty sure my face is everywhere, even when we aren't in the same timezone. not that it matters. i already know that i want this to be quick and painless. as long as we both are on the same page. doesn't surprise me, we do the same thing for a living, so it was a given.

i'm not telling them shit, though, which is exactly why i've decided to abandon the car and pretend none of this ever happened. because let's be real, i'd eventually have to explain how the universe personally manifested a curb in my path, and i don't think i have enough evidence to support my case. okay, i could do that, but i can't grow a beard, so i'm not entirely sure how i'd pull it off.

i swear i'm not judging this choice, but someone's going to notice a random car left on the side of the road. that's all i'm saying! you really would have to explain how this curb just appeared out of no where. was a phone maybe in your hand? you could do it! just get the baseball cap, forget the beard and embrace the life.