Go ahead. Make my day.

dogs love using their horizontal nature to stand in front of you

sorry i never replied. everyday is blending together and im losing sense of time

*old man voice* back in my day tik tok was a ke$ha song

sundays should be 48 hours long. 24 for enjoying sunday other 24 for mentally preparing for monday

Today's children don't know what it was like when half of your photographs would turn out with demonically glowing red eyes.

I want to be able to say this in an argument

“Okay here’s the list of chores I want to get done today” I tell myself before having sudden full body fatigue from seemingly nothing

i fucking hate being an adult with a slowly increasing number of responsibilities its like one day you wake up and youre like aw fuck when was the last time i descaled the coffee machine

Sometimes I put my face up against my dog while he's sleeping to feel his little lungs expand and his little heart beat and I am struck by the beauty of of life and the miracle of nature to evolve for thousands of years just to create one little guy and put him in my house

sorry for how I acted when there were multiple noises happening at the same time

the epidemic of grown adults playing tiktoks at full volume in public is rampant why are you acting like a 7 year old with their first ipad you have a mortgage

the death of dvds is so fucked. what about bonus features

you ever been 24 minutes into a 47 minute long youtube video and you're randomly like wait i dont care about this at all. and just leave

can they change the temperature outside to something else