bloom

For the first time, I realized that the guilt that I carry about my mother isn’t only something that I carry. That sadness, frustration, and paralyzing feeling that I have about the situation is felt by my sibling. They pick up on my mother’s depression. Something which I thought everyone was oblivious to, or at least chose to be oblivious to, is obvious to someone other than myself.

Should I feel comfort in knowing that someone other than myself recognizes that weight? I don’t. I feel even more guilty for wanting to leave. Because I know that it doesn’t end there. It’ll only be a responsibility passed down. The feeling of sadness and guilt will continue within me as it will in my sibling. It isn’t fair. This should end with me, I’ll take this guilt and carry it forever if it means that they can continue a life of oblivion.