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Love Begins
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"

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we're not kids anymore.

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@s-gdlt

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I woudln’t go up there.

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otters in hats dash cleanse. you're welcome

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Motivational cows for you if you are feeling down.
My mom pissed herself laughing.
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“ I hope that when the world comes to an end, I can breathe a sigh of relief, because there will be so much to look forward to.”
DONNIE DARKO [2001]
I once saw a post somewhere on the internet that talked about being so wrapped up in your own life that you forget that your sibling are also living their own life, and that they aren’t just an extra character in yours. They have friends, memories, and experiences just like you do.
For the first time, I realized that the guilt that I carry about my mother isn’t only something that I carry. That sadness, frustration, and paralyzing feeling that I have about the situation is felt by my sibling. They pick up on my mother’s depression. Something which I thought everyone was oblivious to, or at least chose to be oblivious to, is obvious to someone other than myself.
Should I feel comfort in knowing that someone other than myself recognizes that weight? I don’t. I feel even more guilty for wanting to leave. Because I know that it doesn’t end there. It’ll only be a responsibility passed down. The feeling of sadness and guilt will continue within me as it will in my sibling. It isn’t fair. This should end with me, I’ll take this guilt and carry it forever if it means that they can continue a life of oblivion.
I don’t want my mother to feel like a burden. I sound selfish with all that I’ve said but it’s so difficult to be the help when you’re in deep yourself. I love my mother deeply. The day she dies will be the day she takes a piece of me with her. I wish I could bring the old her back. What I would give to bring her happiness back.