Just A Host For A Trillion Sideblogs

okay. holding ur hands as i say this. look me in the eyes. i know this is overwhelming so here's where we start. if he wants you dead then your first act of resistance is survival.

so you know that cursed sword that slowly drives whoever wields it mad & causes mysterious illnesses? you guessed it: scabbard was absolutely loaded with black mold

I know this is a deeply American thing to say but I am begging everyone to stay the fuck away from military recruiters. Especially high school kids. You are going to be seeing an unholy amount of them in schools or around schools or literally anywhere kids are known to congregate. THIS INCLUDES ALL FORMS OF ROTC. Stay the fuck away from military recruiters. As someone who’s familiar with entirely too many branches through entirely too many friends and family, including my partner, recruiters are authorized to say literally any fucking thing they think will make you sign on that line. They cannot and will not deliver on those promises. They need bodies for the war they’re pretending is only now starting up again. That’s all you are. A body. Stay the FUCK away from the military.

I’m gonna propose “I guess you haven’t read the silmarillion then :/” as a default response to anyone not understanding a reference to something obscure. even if it’s not remotely Tolkien related. I want to build up a perception that perhaps the sum total of human knowledge is contained in the silmarillion

XKCD and Tumblr once again providing weapons I cannot use

as someone who was on deviantart way too much in middleschool my relationship to the furry community is sort of like how athiest people still celebrate christmas.

this 'being really tired after work' thing is really getting in the way of this 'pursuing my artistic hopes and dreams' thing has anyone else noticed this

This has been sent to me four times today, so I'm condemning OP to be judged by the 42 and fall into Nuun.

i hate how they market alexa as a ‘member of the family’ like that’s SO fucking blatantly insidious and terrifying also if i wanted an untrustworthy/cold/emotionless machine in my life i’d just talk to my fuckin father 

“Guys stop bullying my wiretap”

#did we all collectively forget why Big Brother was called that

Your untrustworthy cold emotionless father is probably not spying on you for a fascist government/oligarchy (unless he is, in which case maybe you should smash him with a hammer too).

high as fuck in a hot spring eating stir fry noodles and spotting shooting stars you can't touch me

MAN [IN THICK ACCENT]: Black cat bring good luck.  Not bad luck.  I have black cat - See, him face - And I am not dead today: Good luck!

Reblog him face for good luck in 2021

Reblog him face for good luck in 2021 (2)

Reblog him face for good luck in 2022

Reblog him face for good luck in 2023

Reblog him face for good luck in 2024

Reblog him face for good luck in 2025

Reblog him face for extra good luck on Friday 13th

a truly first-rate warrior cannot be bought—they must be seduced

a truly first-rate strategist cannot be bought—they must also be seduced

a truly first-rate emperor can be bought actually. in fact it’s fairly easy

but you still can seduce them if you want

editing is so funny because it's like "damn, i wrote 'before' two times within three paragraphs. they are going to stone me in the town square for this"

god the horrible urge to vague post is eating me alive but i must

someone wronged me once