R. J. Lupin

"Yeah.” Sirius murmured, his eyes trained on his boots. It was a big deal, wasn’t it? Maybe he’d been hoping he was just too connected to it and being as dramatic as everyone always accused him of. “I….” He sighed, running a tired hand through his hair as he thought it over. Why hadn’t he told not just Remus - but even James or Peter? “I don’t know.” He said softly. Sirius figured he thought he’d have it figured out by now - he wouldn’t still be trying to figure out what it all meant and how he felt about it. He tensed under Moony’s gaze, knowing they both knew that if he asked, Sirius would tell him, no matter how much he didn’t want to. But he should have given his friend more credit, and as he let it go for the moment, his shoulders relaxed again and he let out a small sigh. “Yeah, ‘course.” He’d known, after all, he wouldn’t be able to avoid talking about it forever. 

“Yeah.” Remus’ argument managed to wrangle a genuine laugh out of him and he shook his head, although his smile stayed put this time. “I said what I said.” He stretched his hands out before him, arching his back as it had started to ache from sitting on the concrete for so long now. “I am in love with you.” He continued, voice distorted somewhat with his effort to crack his back. “But you’re still not my type.” He turned his head, and with the satisfying pop he glanced up at Moony where he was now standing before him. “Bit of a Freaky Friday moment we’re having here, don’t you think?” He raised a single eyebrow, but pushed himself up to follow, regardless. “Alright, then what’s the plan?" 

He knew Sirius would have told him about what happened between him and his brother if he asked, but there was a better time and place for that. When the time came, he would question him about it, but right now all Remus wanted to do was make his friend smile. "Not your type." He repeated with an exaggerated scoff, shaking his head slightly. "It's because my boobs are too small, isn't it?" Remus questioned, his smile growing wide, "Y'know I can change that, I'm sure there's a spell to make them bigger. I'm willing to change for you Pads, just gimme a chance!" He pleaded with laughter, attempting to give him puppy dog eyes, but it was unsuccessful due to laughing too hard.

"I think I regret showing you that film." His eyes rolled slightly. Any time he suggested doing anything out of the ordinary Sirius made a reference to it. "I love causing trouble as much as you do, I'm just much better at covering my tracks." Throwing an arm around Sirius, Remus began guiding them back into the party. "Haven't figured out a plan yet, but I think step one is getting a few more drinks into you. You definitely have to catch up." He paused, trying to come up with something for them to do. Perhaps they could charm some cards or dice to always lose, or maybe they could embarrass Maya and Gianna by hiding somewhere and amplifying their voices to sing happy birthday to them. They could figure something out together, after Padfoot had another drink. "I have no money, though. And you said you gambled yours away? Looks like we're gonna have to steal. Or one of us is gonna have to get flirty with the bartender."

It would be a lie to say, or even think, that Lily wasn’t more worried now than even before. Knowing that the Death Eaters had taken the Ministry had been one thing – for all the loss and agony that had caused, in hindsight it almost seemed inevitable. Of course they would go after the public symbol of control, though Lily was almost positive that Yaxley wasn’t calling any of the actual shots. But Hogwarts…that was infinitely worse than she had ever expected. Worse than even the loss of her childhood home and her father along with it, no matter the nauseating guilt that brought about. Nowhere was meant to be safer than Hogwarts, and now Dumbledore was gone. She had to hope that he had a plan, but when had he ever let them in on that? But there had to be something, no matter how fatal this all seemed. If she was going to die, it had to happen while she was still fighting. There wasn’t any other option.

Lily’s shoulders fell at the admission, and a small sigh fell through her lips. “Me, too.” She admitted softly, offering what she hoped was a reassuring squeeze to his arm. It was probably dangerous to admit, even to herself just how afraid she was now. This was Remus, though. Most days she found herself wondering if there was anyone else out there who understood her quite the same as he did. “I’m terrified.” Lily spoke again, doing her best to keep the resolve in her voice, to keep from letting it shake. “But I’m not ready to let it finish me off yet. So let’s be scared together, but just - keep pushing on anyways.” She sighed softly. Was it a worthy effort? Probably not, but it was the best she had. Swallowing a weight Lily hadn’t felt in her throat, she nodded. “Okay. I’ll go with you. Even if we can’t find Mad-Eye, surely there has to be something we can do. Some plan being formed in a safe house we can focus on. I can send word to Minerva, see if she has anything from the school to tell us.”

Remus absolutely hated hearing Lily admit that she was scared. She was always so strong, nothing seemed break her. Even when her father passed, she bounced back much quicker than anybody could have expected her to. It was absolutely terrifying to know that the person he considered to be his rock throughout this entire war was just as scared as he was. At least he knew they were in it together. "Keep pushing." Remus agreed easily, a small smile gracing his features for the first time all morning. They had to keep going, keep trying as hard as they could. Everything they were doing was for the greater good, and he had to continuously remind himself of that. It was for people like him, people like Lily and those poor children whose lives are now in danger.

Nodding his head, Remus squeezed her hand lightly. "I appreciate it. We've got to do something, and it'll be easier to have my best friend by my side." His expression softened slightly as he looked to her. "I think getting in touch with McGonagall is a wonderful idea, but..." He trailed off, looking away for a moment as he thought. "I'm worried they might be interfering with the owls. What if they're checking letters?" Remus' brows furrowed slightly. He hated jumping to the worst conclusions, but he couldn't help it. It would make sense - owls were the easiest way to get information in and out of Hogwarts, if they had something to hide he was positive they would be checking the mail. "Use an owl they wouldn't recognize - and try to make it discreet. Write in code or something. I'd hate for something bad to happen to one of us, but I think it would be worse to get news of something bad happening to McGonagall for contacting us."

He knew he should have laughed with Remus, especially as he shot him a look, but he couldn’t bring himself to. Not over Regulus - not anymore. At least, not right now. “He won’t.” Sirius murmured, no trace of humor in his tone. Biting the inside of his cheek, he debated. It would feel good to tell someone what had happened - and Remus was the perfect person. But he was drunk, and it was a party - it wasn’t really the time, was it? It seemed his mouth had other ideas, however, as he began to speak again before he’d fully decided whether or not he even wanted to. “I saw him the other day, you know.” He started, speaking quickly as if he needed to get it all out before he changed his mind. “After the… .you know.” He amended, gesturing at his still bruised face. “We didn’t fight. He apologized, and…” Sirius trailed off, taking a breath before continuing quietly. “I told him I’d leave him alone - that I didn’t ever want to see him again.” He swallowed thickly. “For good this time.” Glancing sidelong, he sent him a steady look. “And no, I don’t want to talk about it." 

He was actually grateful for Remus’ current state of intoxication, and he barked a laugh at his question. "Usually, yeah.” He shrugged easily. “What can I say, Moons, you’re just not my type.” His laughter faded away and he shrugged easily. “Nah, it’s okay.” He surprised himself with his answer, truth be told. Sirius almost always wanted to go find Marlene, he didn’t even have to think about it - it was more of an instinct. But he wasn’t himself, and he didn’t think he wanted to subject her to less than his best, not when he’d already whined enough to her. “I’m sure I’ll run into her at some point." 

Remus' brows furrowed, watching Sirius intently as he seemingly struggled to get out whatever he was going to say. His expression immediately softened as he began to explain what happened between him and Regulus, and suddenly Remus felt bad for even bringing up his brother in the first place. "He apologized?" He questioned in disbelief. The two of them had hated each other for so long, it was definitely hard to believe that Regulus was even capable of feeling sorry, but there was no way Sirius would just make that up. "Pads, this is a big deal. Why didn't you tell me before?" But when he stated that he didn't want to talk about it, Remus simply stared at him for a moment before nodding his head. "Alright, I won't force you to talk about it right now, but if I remember in the morning we're definitely having a chat about it."

Now making it his personal mission to keep a smile on Sirius' face, he scoffed at his answer. "I'm not your type?" He asked, a grin on his lips, "Aren't you always telling people that you're in love with me? And now you're saying I'm not your type? Make up your damn mind." It was definitely strange that he didn't want to go look for Marlene, usually he would jump on an opportunity to spend time with her. Taking the last few puffs off his cigarette, he threw the butt a few feet in front of him and pushed himself off the ground, turning to look down at Sirius. "Alright, c'mon. We're gonna go get into trouble, I can't do it alone."

Get To Know Me Uncomfortably Well

18. Do you want children?

“Uh... I haven’t actually thought about this. Perhaps, in the future.... Actually, probably not. I don’t think I would make a good father.”

43. Can you do any other accents other than your own?

“I’ve certainly tried, however quite unsuccessfully. I do, however, do a very accurate impression of Peter and his little squeaky voice. Does that count?”

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes?

“Of course. How is somebody going to learn if they aren’t corrected?”

87. Do you keep a journal?

Get To Know Me Uncomfortably Well

48. Can you curl your tongue?

“Um... I don’t think I’ve ever tried? But probably? I think?”

60. Do you talk to yourself?

“Constantly. All the time. Most of the time I don’t even notice I’m doing it, but it’s usually when no one else is around. And in my sleep, the boys have told me I talk in my sleep a lot.”

74. Are you ticklish?

“Well.” He started with a sigh, before he smiled, making sure when he spoke again his tone was back to the light hearted teasing he was best known for. “That’s the million dollar question, isn’t it?” Sirius chuckled, shrugging slightly. He couldn’t have given him a straight answer even if he wanted to - he didn’t know what the hell was wrong with him. 

“You will not.” He snorted, rolling his eyes although he appreciated the support. Still, the last thing he needed was another fight on his hands, even if he wasn’t directly involved. Especially between his brother and his best friend. “No, it's… it’s fine. Really. It’s taken care of.” Sirius assured him, swallowing thickly and clearing his throat before continuing. “That’s over.” He nodded, shrugging lightly as he snuffed out his cigarette on the sidewalk to his left and snagged the fresh one from behind his ear. “Have you seen Marlene?” He asked suddenly, hoping Remus might let him distract him with a subject change. 

When Sirius spoke again, he definitely sounded better, but Remus wasn't a fool. There was obviously something going on, but if he didn't want to talk about it, he wasn't going to pry. They were at a party, after all, they were supposed to be having fun. "Okay, alright. I won't bother him." He promised, taking a drag from his cigarette before turning to flash a mischievous look to his friend, "Unless he starts it, then it's game over for him."

Rolling his eyes at the subject change, Remus snorted softly. "What, I'm not good enough for you? You're gonna ditch me to hang out with Marlene?" He teased, knowing that that wasn't the reason he brought her up at all, but it was still amusing to poke fun at him. Taking a moment to think about it, he hadn't seen Marlene, or really anyone else that he knew. He was positive their friends were somewhere in the party, but there were so many people around and so many activities, he hadn't spotted anybody. Shaking his head, Remus shrugged his shoulders, "Actually, no. I haven't. I'm sure she's around somewhere, though. Wanna go look for her?"

Remus:

Remus:

“Alright, alright.” Sirius huffed, rolling his eyes although a small smile crept over his lips. “Just light up if it gets you to be quiet, will you?” He laughed, ashing his own cigarette before finally bringing it to his lips to take a drag, although most of it had been wasted by now. Catching the pack easily in one hand (he wasn’t as drunk as most people might expect of him), he slid one out and stuck it behind his ear before pocketing it once again. 

Sirius shrugged slightly. “Wonders never cease.” He replied easily, hoping he wasn’t going to be made to talk about it. Honestly, he wasn’t sure exactly why he was in such a funk lately, but it only made it that much harder for him to pull himself out of it. “Yeah, I’m fine. Maybe. I dunno.” He shrugged, frowning for a moment. It wasn’t like he hadn’t gotten in fights before - and fights with both Regulus and Severus, at that. But it was different this time, there was a note of finality to his last meeting with his brother, and the desperate desire to get out when he’d heard his name only confirmed it. The fight with Severus - well, that had purely been catharsis. He chuckled once, patting his now empty pockets before turning them out for inspection. “If only I was as responsible as you.”

Remus stared at Sirius for a moment, feeling rather shocked that he wasn't enjoying himself. This was exactly the type of thing that would usually pull him out of a bad mood, so whatever was bothering him must have been serious. Placing his cigarette between his lips, Remus grabbed his arm with both of his hands, shaking him back and forth slightly, "What the hell is wrong with you?" He questioned, his tone still light and playful, though there was a hint of concern behind it. He absolutely hated seeing his friends in a bad mood, but it always hit differently when it was Sirius. Usually he was the one trying to cheer everyone else up.

Puffing on his cigarette, he pulled it out of his mouth as he relaxed against the wall behind him. He knew that Sirius had gotten into a couple of fights recently, one with Regulus and one with Severus, but surely that couldn't be the issue. It definitely wasn't the first time he had fought with either one of them, and he was sure it wouldn't be the last, either. However he noticed that Sirius had been unusually quiet about it, normally he would brag about it a little more. "Is it your brother?" Remus asked, glancing over to him, "Is he here? Did you see him? I'll go beat him up for you, if you want." He had never been in a real fight, but if it would make Sirius feel better, he would be more than willing. Although Remus was positive he could beat him at a duel. "Okay, maybe I can't beat him up but I'll happily duel him. I might be drunk but I can still use my wand." He smiled, chuckling softly. He was only half joking, if Sirius asked him to fight Regulus, he would absolutely do it without a second thought.

"And yet you’re the one disturbing me.” But there was a smile on his face as he spoke, shaking his head slightly. He leaned over, using his free hand to snag the box of cigarettes from his pocket but before he handed it over he eyed his outstretched hand with a smirk. “What’s the magic word?” He taunted, in an almost sing-song voice before he dissolved into laughter and slapped them down into Remus’ palm, not really having cared if he got an answer or not. If he was asking to bum a cigarette, he may be more intoxicated than Sirius was himself - the tables certainly had turned tonight, hadn’t they? Perhaps he’d have to try to muster up a second wind and catch up. 

“Just partied myself out, I guess.” He shrugged, throwing him a lopsided grin, although it faded quickly. It was true - Remus was usually the one slinking away; Sirius tended to find and join him because he didn’t want his friend  to be alone. Sirius wasn’t one to get ‘partied out’, and yet, here they were. He sighed deeply, averting his eyes back to the empty street in front of him. What he wanted to do, was to turn into a dog and run himself tired, but that was hardly an option at present. But he had seen both Maya and Gianna, so maybe leaving earlier than he’d planned wasn’t exactly off the table. Truth was, he wasn’t exactly sure what he wanted. "Won any jackpots?“ 

"You're gonna have to be more specific," Remus teased, pulling the pack away quickly before he changed his mind, "There are a lot of magic words. Fuck, a third of my vocabulary is magic words. Spells and charms and shit. I can give you many magic words, but you need to specify." He laughed, pulling a cigarette out and placing it between his lips before tossing the pack back over to Sirius. It had been quite some time since he was this drunk, usually Remus was more than happy to babysit everyone else while they were partying, it felt nice to let loose for a change. He definitely wasn't anywhere near blacking out, but he was drunk enough to be more fun than he usually was.

Lighting his cigarette with his wand, Remus' brows furrowed and he shot Sirius a confused glance at his words. "You? Sirius Black is partied out?" His head shook in disbelief as he returned his gaze to the empty street in front of them. If he was at a party and not having a good time, there must be something wrong. Remus knew he had gotten into a fight with both Regulus and Severus recently, but surely that couldn't be the problem, it definitely wasn't the first time he had fought with either of them. "You feeling okay, Pads?" He questioned, almost not expecting a full explanation tonight, not here with so many people around, but perhaps he would tell him something. Shaking his head at his question, Remus laughed again. "You kind of need money in order to gamble." He patted his pocket absent-mindedly, "I have exactly three sickles and I don't think I'm lucky enough to even double that. I’m not taking any chances, I can’t risk losing it."

He wondered idly, back pressed against the cool brick, lit cigarette forgotten as it dangled from his fingers where his hands rested atop his knees, if he would ever feel completely normal again - completely himself. Or was he just fundamentally different now? Was this who he was? He had been having a good time, a great time, but the crowd was getting to him, which was a feeling he was completely unused to. And then someone had to go and shout what sounded suspiciously like his brother’s name, and he had gone shaky and cold, half filled with anger at the thought that Regulus would dare show his face at an event like this. All in all, it seemed a good time for a breath of fresh air, so he’d made his way outside, which was blissfully empty. 

Sirius sat himself a few yards from the door, close enough to hear it when it opened, but far enough that everyone ignored him as they came and went and he largely ignored them in return, staring intently at the concrete walk before him as he got lost in his own thoughts. He missed the footsteps drawing nearer completely, only realizing he wasn’t alone as a pair of boots entered into his line of sight, and he glanced up, squinting slightly into the backlit face of his friend. His expression lit up as he recognized who he was looking at. “Remus!” He found himself smiling, glad it was one of the few people he was genuinely happy to be interrupted by. “Should’ve known you’d pop off for a bit of peace and quiet eventually.” He continued, patting the spot next to him on the ground. “I’ll grab you on the way out next time." 

@rxmxslxpin​

Of course he was having fun, how could he not? But it very quickly became overwhelming. There were so many loud noises coming from different machines, people yelling over each other, lights flashing in every direction. It was a lot, and somehow he ended up wandering around alone. Finishing off the last of his beer, Remus stumbled his way towards the door, realizing that maybe he was a little more drunk than he thought he was. He supposed there wasn't a moment he didn't have a drink in his hand, but he had no idea how that happened considering he only paid for one. It was as if one glass emptied and someone shoved a fresh one in his hand. Not that he was complaining, but this definitely wasn't his intention for the evening.

Pushing open the doors and taking a few steps outside, Remus let out a sigh of relief as the noise of the party was completely silenced as the door closed behind him. A hand ran through his hair as he glanced around, there were a few others standing about in small groups, still laughing and acting as if the party had been extended to the sidewalk. It brought a small smile to his lips, at least everybody was having a good time. Taking a few steps away, Remus noticed a figure a few feet away, one that was instantly recognizable to him. Quickly moving towards Sirius, he stopped beside him and grinned down to him, wondering how long it would take for him to notice his presence. "No such thing as peace and quiet with you around." He laughed, pressing his back against the wall and sliding down beside him. "Gimme a smoke, would you?" Remus asked, holding out a hand expectantly. He almost never smoked, mostly because he couldn't afford to, but he always craved a cigarette when he drank. "What're you doing out here all by yourself? Usually I'm the one that sneaks away."