rxiny's imagines

 You had scars of course from being a hunter but so did the boys but yet they were smoking hot, Cas as well. You looked at yourself in the mirror as you pulled on your outfit for the day it was a casual day no cases, for now, You pulled on one of Dean’s shirts and some sweatpants and moved downstairs “Hello (y/n)” Cas said making you jump “Oh, Hey, Cas. Where are the boys?” you asked, “they went out to get food they said I should stay here if you wake up.” Cas said as he looked at you. You nodded moving down the stairs and into the kitchen “I can sense sometimes off (y/n) what is it?” Castiel asked you shook your head and shrugged “Nothing, Why would something be wrong?” you asked and grabbed the milk and some cereal making yourself a bowl while Castiel squinted at you as he tilted his head you picked up the bowl and looked at Cas pausing before sighing “What?” you asked “Your off, You say your not but you are I can sense it” He said you sighed quietly “I’m fine Cas I promise” you mumble and pushed passed him to sit at the table and eat your cereal “Ok but you also have been sleeping alot, you’ve been wearing clothes that hide all of your body when its warm, You don't talk as much and you dont come out of your room too much” he said and you rolled your eyes “Ok sherlock, I just don't feel that great alright” you said but Cas sat in front of you “What do you mean what's wrong?” he asked you were going to speak before the bunker door opened and in came Dean and Sam with groceries “Hey what are you two doing?” Dean asked as he set them down in the kitchen “(y/n)’s sick” Cas said and you shook your head “Cas N- I’m not sick just not feeling great it's fine” you said and Dean automatically moved over to you taking your hands “what's wrong?” he asked “I'm fine!” You said shaking your head “Are you sure babe?” he asked you nodded as you leaned back glaring at Cas for saying anything, You finished off your cereal while Sam and Dean put groceries away while talking to Cas you moved off to go to your room you shared with Dean going upstairs and sat down pushing your laptop open scrolling through different sites you liked to hang out on, After a few hours Dean came up looking at you “Hey babe can we talk?” He asked you looked at him and pushed your laptop onto the nightstand “Yea sure what's up?” you asked worried he was going to leave you. Dean looked at you “Are you alright, You’ve been off, I just want to make sure everything's alright you know, Up there” he said he knew you had some mental problems but you two did not discuss it too often he mostly went along and helped you when you needed it or when you were stressed and other things, You shrugged abit “I don't know I just haven't been feeling to great with myself right now” you said running your fingers through your hair, Dean looked at you “What do you mean like, Your body or your head?” he asked you shrugged “Both but mainly the first one” you said softly as you looked down figuring he wouldn't really care or just think you were dumb. “Your beautiful (y/n)” “that doesn't mean anything though, I’m always told I’m pretty but it feels like people are just pitying me and saying that so I won't feel ugly but it doesn't work” you said and Dean shook his head “Your not, I promise I find you just as beautiful as anyone else” he promised “You could have a supermodel if you wanted yet you sit here with me which you don't need to do!” You said and he shook his head kneeling down in front of you” “I want you I don't want a supermodel, a Supermodel would think I’m insane for all of this alright, I want you and no one else. I don't want to see anyone else in the morning but you” he promised you nodded abit “and I promise you I really do think you are beautiful alright, No lies no pity, Your beautiful and I promise you other people will agree with me” he said and you nodded smiling abit “thank you, Dean” you said and he smiled kissing you gently for a minute before pulling away “Now get dressed we should go out” “what” “Yeah, Dinner then we can go to a bar” he said and nodded you looked at him as he smiled “be ready in 20 minutes otherwise I’m going without you” he joked leaving you as you smiled faintly grabbing different clothes for once feeling a bit more confident with yourself.

You didn't know why you were so depressed lately you just were self-harming again after about 5 months of being clean. You had been hated on by different fans for being in Supernatural and being with Brendon. You knew it wasn't your fault and the fans were just jealous but it still hurt and the death threats were a lot on you. You laid quietly as you sniffled before getting up and heading to the bathroom for some water in the ensuite (Bathroom connected to the bedroom), The light woke up Brendon making him groan quietly and you turned “Babe come back to bed” Brendon mumbled as he patted your growing cold spot “I was grabbing some water Bren” you explained as you finished the glass and turned the light off before climbing back into bed with him his arms looped around your waist “Hey Brendon?” You asked quietly he hummed in response his eyes closed “My depression has been getting bad again” you said quietly able to admit it in the dark with him asleep in hope maybe he wouldn't hear, He did. He woke up more at your words and looked at you with his chocolatey eyes as he reached over turning the bedside lamp, “Baby why didn't you tell me sooner” he said and moved up putting on his glasses so he wasn't blind as you looked up at him and shrugged quietly “I-I Hur-Hurt myself again” you said tears started to well in your eyes his heart dropped he slipped his arms around you and pulled you up and into his chest as he cuddled her tightly “Baby you should have said something” he whispered holding you tightly “I-I was too scared too.” you mumbled in return “Alright baby let's keep you home tomorrow and I’ll let Jensen know whats happening so he can help you when I can't be on set with you” he said softly kissing the top of your head you nodded as Brendon sent a text to Jensen explaining everything, Brendon pulled you back up and kissed the top of your head you smiled softly happy he was supporting and helping. “Baby I want you to feel safe,” he said softly “I feel safe when I’m with you,” you said quietly, He rubbed your side “Well then I’ll keep you with me” he whispered you smiled faintly your eyes closing as you fell back asleep with his arms around you.

You closed your eyes your head resting on your pillow the blanket over you Boggart curled up by your feet and Penny on the end of the bed, You stared at your phone just waiting for a text or call even though you knew he was asleep. It just hurts you wanted to call him for his voice to silence the voices screaming in your head but he was asleep in a different country while you were wide awake unable to get your voices to stop screaming, You gave up and put your phone on the nightstand, Got out of bed heading downstairs the only sound in the house was you walking down the stairs, Normally you could hear Brendon playing piano or singing in the kitchen or Zach and Brendon yelling and playing around or even the dogs barking while Brendon worked on music but it was just silent. It was depressing downstairs it was dark outside making the room extra sad there wasn't much in the house that was lighting up everything was off since you had no reason to go downstairs beside food and feeding the dogs. You grabbed a cup and filled it with water and grabbed a banana before heading back upstairs, You felt sluggish and looked it too, Your hair was messy wearing nothing but shorts and one of Brendon’s sweatshirts you climbed back onto the bed and flopped down you look at your phone and see Brendon had texted you a minute ago ‘Hey Babe, I miss you’ he had sent your eyes lit up and you grinned you responded ‘I miss you too Bren, It hurts so much they won't be quiet’ You replied your thumb running up and down the side of your phone ‘Oh baby I’m sorry, I can't sleep and all the other guys are knocked out after the concert I can call you if you want’ ‘YES’ You responded quickly you wanted to hear his voice and listen to him just talk to you you pulled the covers up the phone facing your face all curled up when the facetime notification from Brendon came up, You automatically answered your face lighting up as you smiled at him Brendon smiling back he was obviously kinda tired but he couldn't sleep “Hey babygirl, You look adorable curled up in my clothes like that” he said making your cheeks flush “shut up” you mumbled quietly looking at him his figure was slightly dark but you could see his features and that was good enough his hair was messy from trying to sleep he was in nothing but shorts under a blanket. “I want you home already, I feel numb without you” you whispered he nodded “I know baby, Were coming to LA for another date next month so I can see you then and I can be with you and give you all the cuddles and attention and we’ll see if anyone drops out so there's an extra bunk or I’ll discuss setting up the backroom back into a bedroom” he said and you nodded grinning “Please, Bren.” you smiled “I’ll see what I can do, What time is it over there?” you glanced at the clock squinting your eyes it was slightly blurry “3:18 am” “god damn, Your ahead of me doll, Its “2:18 where we are” he said watching you in the camera he loved her so much he wanted to calm her voices and put his arms around her waist and tell her it would be ok, Shower her with love and kisses telling her she would be fine. You looked down and over when Boggart moved “(Y/N)”  Brendon said looking at you making you look back at the screen “Yea?” “I love you and I promise I’ll come back as soon as I can” You smiled at his words nodding your eyes opening and closing sleepily Brendon chuckled at you “go to sleep baby” he said and you shook your head even though you were falling asleep in your spot and before you knew it you fell fast asleep listening to Brendon tell you how much he loved you and how much he missed you.