time and time again

“that’s even worse,” taiga admitted, a little taken aback. “you’re making them so much money! and they’re trusting you to lead their new boy group– why would they treat you like that?”

“i feel like sometime, a decade ago, i must have done something and they’re still punishing me for it, because i have no idea why else they would,” he admitted with a sigh. all i can really do is just hope that this time, they’re serious.”

“hey, you have to remember– i have similar experiences. and your situation has been so much worse. if i can’t trust them, how should you?”

“i mean, i guess but.... it’s hard to reconcile that the people controlling your life may not be working in your favor,” he admitted

“i think k-pop wasn’t ready for hip hop culture yet either,” dylan agreed. “like diss rap was commonplace in my circles, but for teeny bopper idol fans, all they saw was an attack, rather than a critique through art.”

“yeah, i think with unpretty and smtm, it’d be a little more understood now. i think depending on who you came for, you’d still get in shit, but there’d be more people on your side.”

she sighed, still pouting. “i forgot how ancient you are,” she grumbled. “i guess debuting you as fast as possible is probably the right idea. you can’t promote from the senior’s home.”

“hey now, no need to be cruel,” he laughed, shaking his head at the absolute audacity. “i’m still young enough to kick your ass.”

“maybe film at least one stage. you know, so fans can get their special fancam content. beyond that, a flawless plan.”

“okay, but im filming for only thirty seconds once an hour so.....it’ll take a while. gotta make sure its quality.”

“eunsung, i don’t think that’s how it works,” she giggled, resting her chin on her hand. “what could i possibly know that you’d not know and need to learn?”

“how to be pretty-- i’m lacking on that one and you’ve got it on lock,” he said, cheesy smile on his face. “uhhh.....vocals? you’re a way better singer than me...”

“that’s reasonable– that must have been so traumatizing,” sona said with a little tsk. “it’s good to be optimistic. i hope the same. i just can never bring myself to get too hopeful with spotlight.”

he went to argue but then paused. “i mean, i’ve never thought of it that way, but.... yeah, i guess,” he admitted. “i second guess everything they say. i guess that probably is some sort of ptsd technically.”

“i hope they let you rest. you’re going to burn out and get sick,” she said softly, frowning

“they’ve done a pretty good job of balancing everything so far, i think. i’ve never felt overworked. or like it’s worse than usual, i guess,” eunsung assured her.

“nah, they love you. you’re their fucking martyr. they’ll see it as you finally getting the recognition you deserve.”

“oh, i hate that. the idea of that makes me uncomfortable. i’m no martyr,” eunsung sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. “unlucky, maybe, but it’s weird when fans do that.”

“i’m sure it helps, but that doesn’t make it ethical. you’re still being worked to death,” pansy chided, worry clear in her eyes. “you’re talented. i don’t want to see you spiral.”

“i appreciate the worry and...honestly, it’s warranted. but i think i’m okay. things are manageable for now at least.”

“yeah, that’s a good point. but even then, is that a good idea? because people hate me. like… maybe i want to be overlooked,” she laughed ruefully

“i think you deserve forgiveness. you were young,” eunsung pointed out. “and you weren’t...wrong. i think people now can look at what you said with fresh eyes and take it for what it really was.”

“right? and the vocal track is the important part anyway, so like, who cares?”

“honestly, i should rap on the track and do the jacket photos, and then hire a body double for the stages. what’sit matter anyway?”

“i think you still count as my senior,” mandy giggled, shaking her head. “you’d already been an idol for like three years when i joined spotlight. i think the experience is what counts..”

“yeah, but i’ve forgotten most of it by now. i think you’re my senior. i have a lot to learn,” eunsung insisted, resting his head on his arms as he laid his torso across the table, looking at her. “you should mentor me.”

“I mean, I guess so. I still don’t think it’‘s going to be that soon, though. Scope looks like a giant group like the rest of New Age, it’s probably going to take them forever to get everything together.”

“It wholeheartedly looked … Brutal. I don’t think I could ever keep up with the others if I had to do that. Has the company said anything to you? Hinted at whether or not they’re leaning towards it?” Eunhye sighed softly, shaking her head before thinking, “i mean, surely they want to capitalize on creed’s success but what about your seniority in the company?”

“god...i’m pretty fed up with spotlight right now,” eunsung said with a bitter laugh. “they haven’t said anything about a real group, but they shoved me in the traxx unit for some godforsaken reason. like, seriously-- you’re going to pull me from my group in it’s early days, only to throw me into their subunits when things get tough? it’s so frustrating.”