[ I fell off real hard right after I made that "Need Tumblr break but still <3 RP" post. Obviously probably. Things still be Less Than Optimal in my head. Probably not gonna change anytime soon. ]
[ I'm not even going to glance at my dashboard, I think it would be a disaster, so I don't know if anyone's still around or not, but if you are, just wanted to let you know I still think about you and your muses and the stories we wrote. Hope you're all doing as okay as you can under whatever circumstances may be affecting you. :/ ]
[ Every so often I toss around the idea of moving my muse blogs to a new account and only following their partners so I don't get all bogged down again, but since I don't know what the PokĂŠcommunity status is, I don't know if there'd be any point. Still got my push notifications on, though, so if for some reason you're trying to pin me down, I should see it eventually. ]
[ Gonna faceplant in my imaginary Noodle nest now. Noodle loves you, too~! ]
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[ tl:dr version: I think Tumblr may not be a good place for me to be, but I still want to RP and do memes, so my notifications are on and Iâll see it if you ping me (as long as Tumblr remembers to actually send it to me ~_~ ). ]
[ Actual details: Behind the cut for people who donât want long post being long on dash~ ]
I originally had this titled âI kind of hate Tumblrâ, but that isnât really accurate. It's more about the things Iâve mentioned before regarding my OCD and catching up after breaks, as well as my asocial tendancies. Any type of social interaction tends to be incredibly stressful for me - Iâve wondered at times if âintrovertâ is even the appropriate term, because Iâm not a person who wants some interaction, just on their own terms and with time to recharge; Iâm a person who has no real desire for it whatever and tends to do better, mentally/emotionally, with as little human contact as possible.
The exception to that was always RP, because you kind of have to interact with people for that, you know? And for a long time, I managed it okay. The specifics of why that changed donât really matter here, but ultimately, I had to cut a lot of people off because I had a serious offline crisis to deal with and I felt like no matter how many times I said, âI am not able to be social anymore, itâs too much stress on top of everything else Iâm going through, I will be turning off my IM services and donât know when or if Iâll be back,â it was just being ignored.
I had already been on Tumblr for a few months prior to that, in large part because Iâd heard there was an RP community here. Itâs very different than the RP Iâve done before, which has both pros and cons. One of the things Iâve liked is that no one expects me to be on call for OOC conversation. Iâm not getting badgered for my Skype name or logging on to find strings of, âHi. Hi. Hi? HELLOOOO?â messages from people who know why I wasnât available but apparently thought I should be anyway. I can comment on posts in passing if Iâm feeling it (or not, if Iâm not). Iâm even able to enjoy bouncing comments back and forth with some of the other muns because itâs low-pressure and a lot of the time weâre just making terrible jokes.
Tumblr itself, though... Itâs too easy for me to end up completely overwhelmed. I miss even just a day or two and there are likely to be 80 pages (or more) waiting for me. I donât feel like I can RP until Iâve finished the backlog because I worry about missing the posts that say, âIâm in a bad place, I need to step back,â and looking like now IâM the one whoâs not listening. Or thereâll be a non-RP post I want to respond to, but itâs so old the conversationâs long dead and I donât know if my input is still wanted or welcome. Things like that (a lot of things like that). But thereâs so much I donât feel like I can deal with it, so I skip another day and now thereâs even more of it, and it just goes on and on from there. It becomes something I obsess over and fret about. Itâs basically the new âpeople I cut offâ (though in this case itâs not about how Iâve been treated by anyone else; just purely about how I am myself).
This is the first time Iâve been on Tumblr in two weeks, and I havenât really missed it. A couple of specific blogs, definitely, but the overall experience... Mostly Iâve just had a mix of mild guilt for not keeping up, and relief that Iâve missed so much Iâll never be able to, so it doesnât matter anymore.
I donât think I want to get off Tumblr altogether, because there is stuff here I like even outside the RPC, but I also very much need to not be doing what Iâm doing now because itâs putting me right back where I was, and right now I donât know how to manage that other than to not, a lot. (I know for some people the solution is to cut back on how many blogs they follow, but for similar anxiety-piggybacking-on-OCD-and-vice-versa reasons, thatâs not something that would currently provide me with relief.)
Like I said, though, I do still want to RP and I love being tagged for the memes, so I have notifications set up both for my phone and (for some things) via email - that way I should catch things that are directed at me even if Iâm not checking in right then. I just may not be so hot at dropping replies or dash commentary or spotting starter calls anymore. :/
(And like I also said, I havenât so much as opened Tumblr for two weeks, so if there were any of those, âIâm done with RP/Iâm dropping threads/reply here if you want to keep goingâ posts in the meantime, I missed them. Soo.... @eternalr0ses @clever-beets I think you were the main people I was threading with, can you let me know (when you feel able to) what YOUR status is and if you want to keep going with our stuff? [ @tes-beaux-yeux should be in there too, but I remember you were already taking a break! But if you come back and want to add your two PokĂŠcents, you can consider this your âalso very welcome toâ tag. Totally no pressure; I just didnât want you to think Iâd forgotten you or didnât care! ^_^ ])
(And if thereâs anyone else I should have tagged there, youâre gonna have to give me a Slowpoke! My thread trackerâs a mess and I honestly donât know who else Iâm active with and whoâs moved on. @.@ )
Rose smiles and lifts his cup to Rueâs pokemon. âAppreciated. I like them too.â
But then again, heâs never even tried to raise a fairy type before. He never had the interest to, and having encountered way too many impidimp in Glimtangle Woods as a young trainer was enough for him.
Oh, lawd, the Impidimps. Rue would have to be karaoke-drunk and then some before sheâd admit it, but the start of that line has never been her favourite, either. Morgrem? Sure. Grimmsnarl? Thereâs one right over there, demonstrating infinite patience as an Alcremie attempts to feed it tea and braid its hair at the same time. But Impidimp? No, thank you; not if she can skip straight to the second stage.
She chuckles softly as Rose toasts her team, and does the same, because even if theyâre not actively training for the Cup anymore, they still deserve it now and again. Most of them donât even notice, as occupied as they are with their various forms of play. Zee is actually napping in the lengthening shadow beside the tent, getting it in while she can before the sun sets entirely. Sheâll go back on patrol then.
Living situation: lives alone | lives with parent(s) / guardian | lives with significant other | lives with a friend | drifter | homeless | lives with children | other
Parents/guardian: mother | father | adoptive | aunt | uncle | foster | grandmother | grandfather | other
Sibling(s): sister | brother(s) | none | other
Relationship: single | crushing | verse dependent | dating | engaged | married | separated | itâs complicated
Things iâve done before: had alcohol | smoked | stolen | done drugs | self-harmed | starved | had sex | had a threesome | had a one-night stand | gotten into a fist fight | gone to the hospital | gone to jail | used a fake ID | played hooky | gone to a rave | killed someone | had someone try to kill them (Eternatus maybe, maybe not? Who knows how that could have gone?)
Tagged by: @clever-beets, to whom I will give a reply to our thread as soon as I can sit down and throw myself wholly into Overwhelmed Fairy mode!
Tagging: @eternalr0ses, with the usual I-donât-know-whoâs-done-this-yet caveat!
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Rose shrugs. âFairy types donât⌠really like me.â Ever since he was a child, in fact. Maybe they sensed he would become a steel-type specialist when he grew older. Or maybe it was his lawful personality clashing with the inherent mischief that came with fairies.
âOhhh.â Rose did hear about it somewhere, a long time ago, now that he thought about it. He might have forgotten about it because doesnât take cream in his tea.
Rue just nods, because that assessments meshes with what sheâd thought herself. Her cup is given a swirl, allowing both sugar and Fairy cream to blend completely before she sips it. Sheâs one of those people who blows into the cup more than across it, and it still burns the tip of her tongue.
âWell,â she remarks eventually, because she ought to say something even if sheâs not really sure what, âthis lot likes you alright, I think.â She waves the cup to indicate the Fairy-types on her team.
Rose shudders. âYeesh. Thatâs the one thing I donât miss about camping.â He wonders how Taisto put up with that. Maybe his sour attitude alone was enough to keep unwanted guests out.
Rose watches the Alcremie dip her hand into the teacups curiously. âWhat was that?â
âWhen it gets to the point that you need to bring a damn broom along to swwp them out -â And by sweep them out, she means swing it overhand and shriek curses like a banshee. â- thatâs when you switch to the packets,â Rue agrees.
A brow perks. âDo you...not know about that?â The corners of her mouth twitch faintly upward. It might make sense, with Roseâs type focus - Fairies and Steel are natural opposites, after all - but itâs always hard to guess what someone might have picked up - or not - before they specialized. âWhen Alcremie trust their Trainers, they share their cream.â Her lips purse. âIâm not really sure what that means with her putting it in her own cup, but I try not to think too hard about it.â
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Copperajah seems to have adopted Noodle as one of her own, with the way sheâs making sure he is adequately covered by a healthy layer of dirt to protect him from the sun.
Rose realises that sheâs never had a baby cufant to take care of. Would she want that?
Rue draws him out of that though, however. âGalarian breakfast is fine,â he smiles, sprinkling two sugar packets into his tea. Galarian breakfast is his favourite flavour, anyway.
âBug shouldnât be a problem, with my Arcanine and Noivern.â Noivern especially would love the extra snack.
Oh goodness. A MamaâAjah. She could carry the egg in the curl of her trunk, and when it hatched, the little Cufant could slide down her tusks like a - well, like a slide. Theyâd go viral on PokĂŠSnap with one post.
âItâs less about whether or not I can chase them off than just how annoying it got to be to find a tent full of Durants every time I turned around.â Rue chuckles wryly and settles down with both her own cup and one far smaller, a plastic childrenâs cup printed with Wooloo and Bunnelby, which she passes to Alcremie. The puff dips one hand, very carefully, first into her Trainerâs cup, then her own, and spins around, squealing happily.
Rose nods slowly, brow clearing. Thatâs actually kind of cute.
He sits down by the fire and his Arcanine sits behind him, poking his muzzle on his cheek. Rose pets his ears.
Copperajah continues scraping at the ground, occasionally sprinkling some dirt on Noodle. Sun protection.
Isnât it, though? Rueâs mum, in her overalls and flower-print wellies, and Leon-and-Hopâs (slightly older and slightly plumper, but no less casually clothed), lounging on the sofa with glasses of grocery-store wine and a holiday marathon of Informational Murder Porn.
...well, itâs something, anyway.
Noodle wallows happily in the cast-off dirt, and once heâs covered thoroughly enough that heâs going to need an actual bath, shoves his nose under the earth and drills a helpful hole of his own. Meanwhile, with the water boiling, Rue fills the cups, times a careful steep with Rotomâs clock face, and passes Rose both his cup and a handful of sugar packets. âItâs just Galar Breakfast, nothinâ fancy. I started bringing the packets once I realized loose sugar lured in every bug in a three-kilometer radius. Which I suppose is great if youâre a Bug-Type specialist, but I can do without it.â
[ This is what we say to my dog when we play Whereâs Layla? and the idea that Piers says it in the same high-pitched voice delights me to no end. XD ]
Rose stares at Rue, with an uncomfortable smile rising to his face. âThatâs⌠a lot of detail youâre putting into it.â
Should he be getting worried?
At the camp, Copperajah is absently digging at the ground with her trunk, with Purrserker still on top of her head.
âYou didnât,â Rose calls back to Rue, âJust sugar, please.â
Rue laughs like sheâs more amused by it than Rose it, like itâs nothing. âNot really,â she admits, after sheâs given him a few more seconds to wonder. âYou know those based-off-a-supposedly-true-story made-for-TV movies that all have titles like âHer Deadly Trainerâ and âThe CheerLeaguer Who Stalked Meâ? Iâll tell yaâa little secret. My mum, and Leonâs mum, are fân crazy about âem. They used to get together on weekends and binge âem. I guess some of it stuck.â
Noodle shuffle-scooches over to Copperajahâs hole-in-the-making and peers in curiously. Rue reppears with a cleaner, smaller pot than what theyâd cooked the curry in and sets up the tea station, water over the fire and bags waiting in metal camping cups.
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âIndeed,â Rose says, âLaws are laws, even if the victim is⌠less than popular.â
Rose, Noivern, Crawdaunt and Arcanine, who had been waiting outside the den, follow Rue back to the camp. Arcanine is so excited about his master being back that he almost tackles him to the ground. âEasy there,â Rose laughs.
â'course, you might get lucky, too,â Rue muses, âand what you done is more popular than who you did it too, so the people makinâ the laws find you a way around it. Little silver âcross the judgeâs palm, little bribe to the parole board, little get out early for good behaviour...â Itâs starting to sound like sheâs thought about this. She really hasnât; sheâs just got that kind of mind.
Back at the camp, Zacian has settled down near the tent, though sheâs still keeping a watchful half-eye on their surroundings (the other half is lidded and sleepy). Rue ducks though the flaps and begins rummaging around. âDid I ask what you take in it?â she calls. âIâve already forgotten.â Both whether she asked, and if thereâd been an answer, what it was.
[ I do the thing I mentioned before, where I skip Tumblr for a day or two and then I have 100+ pages to go through, and my OCD wonât let me RP until I punish myself for taking the break by finishing the backlog, but because I know how much there is, I just keep getting more and more overwhelmed by it, and by the time Iâm finally done, Iâve been putting off the RP for so long that now I have anxiety about picking the paused threads back up on top of it. And I feel like I canât just do the RP and let the rest of it go, because what if I missed something important and inadvertently drop a post on a mun whoâs having a shtty time and doesnât want to RP right now, and I look like Iâm not paying attention/just donât care? ]
[ So, yeah, thatâs where we are right now. >.< ]
