What's A King To A God?

Since when do you spend time at the club anymore? 

I had to meet Lexie Winters there. I’m stumbling through some sort of...relationship with her, I guess. I need a date for the mayor’s ball who, unfortunately, has not starred on the cover of playboy.

Jesus, get out of the 80s, Whitley. 

At the club last night. With the rest of the Upper East Stepfords. Having their tea or whatever the fuck it is they do for fun. Who cares?

I’ve told you a dozen times to not trust the new age dealers. They’re a disaster. Next thing you know, they’ll be trying to sell you grass instead of coke. 

The day that happens is the day I start doing LSD again.

Maybe the bimbos desperate enough to fall into bed with you have very few prospects, but I assure you I’m just fine. Married or single. [She laughs.] And I find it funny that you go from hitting on me to insulting me in a matter of moments. Poor Russel Whitley can’t make up his mind? Am I attractive or am I repulsive? Don’t bother answering, your opinion is worth less than nothing to me.

You mistake me, Kitty Kat. Not once have I found you repulsive. I personally like my girls your size. V, however, always flocks towards the size 0s. He likes when he can see ribs. It was a friendly warning, my pet. Keep him happy, or you’ll find yourself out of his favour.

So are your insinuations. I know you’re pretending to enjoy your life as a “confirmed” bachelor, but the rest of us in the real world don’t really care for your games or needless commentary.

How’s this for needless commentary: Get anymore meat on those bones and you’ll find yourself just as single as me. With very few prospects. You know how things are for a woman of your age.

Sweetie, I know you’re from Connecticut, but don’t be such a Stepford wife. It’s a bore.

Muffy. And I don’t know if I’d phrase things as succinctly as you put them. Part of me feels like it would do Verne some good to still have his father around. At least then he’d see why mine was so important to me.

I don’t think that’s the answer, Cupcake. I wouldn’t say your husband has daddy issues. Based on what I’ve seen, in fact, I’d say his main fault is having a taste for girls who do.

No, I wouldn’t. 

That’s odd. Visits from Chip and Buffy always put V in a sour mood. You really lucked out in the in-law department, his father being dead and all.

I—you’re right. I’m sorry. It’s very…good of you to donate during the holiday season. Is your sister in the city? I could probably pull some strings and get her a ticket if need be.

No, Abigail’s in the South of France right now. Doing God knows what. All the better for me. Nothing’s more exhausting than feigning family civility over the holidays. Wouldn’t you agree?

No, unfortunately, the women I keep up with don’t usually aim so low. Have you really tried every escort service? Don’t they give regulars special treatment or something?

You seem to know a lot about escorting? When Verne introduced us, I said I knew I recognized those legs.

You can’t be serious.

Very. I’ll be at your table on New Year’s Eve...accompanied by some blonde. I haven’t picked one yet. [He looks her up and down.] Know anyone?

That’s very funny. Very mature.

I’ll let him know where the old ball and chain is, don’t you worry your pretty little head about that, Peach.

I feel like a lot of people ask the same question about you.

What a joy you are, Kitty Kat. It really is a wonder V doesn’t race home after work more often. 

Typical.

Your parents? Christ, don’t they have anything better to do than bother us? 

It’s barely noon.

No. Why?

Russel Whitley. I thought I smelled trouble.

That’s not trouble, that’s Armani, Doll.