Never One Without The Other

It may sound woo woo but it’s an important skill capitalism and hyper individualism have robbed us of as human beings.

Learn to process your emotions. It will improve your mental health and quality of life. Emotions serve a biological purpose, they aren’t just things that happen for no reason.

1. Pause and notice you’re having a big feeling or reaching for a distraction to maybe avoid a feeling. Notice what triggered the feeling or need for a distraction without judgement. Just note that it’s there. Don’t label it as good or bad.

2. Find it in your body. Where do you feel it? Your chest? Your head? Your stomach? Does it feel like a weight everywhere? Does it feel like you’re vibrating? Does it feel like you’re numb all over?

3. Name the feeling. Look up an emotion chart if you need to. Find the feeling that resonates the most with what you’re feeling. Is it disappointment? Heartbreak? Anxiety? Anger? Humiliation?

4. Validate the feeling. Sometimes feelings misfire or are disproportionately big, but they’re still valid. You don’t have to justify what you’re feeling, it’s just valid. Tell yourself “yeah it makes sense that you feel that right now.” Or something as simple as “I hear you.” For example: If I get really big feelings of humiliation when I lose at a game of chess, the feeling may not be necessary, but it is valid and makes sense if I grew up with parents who berated me every time I did something wrong. So I could say “Yeah I understand why we are feeling that way given how we were treated growing up. That’s valid.”

5. Do something with your body that’s not a mental distraction from the feeling. Something where you can still think. Go on a walk. Do something with your hands like art or crochet or baking. Journal. Clean a room. Figure out what works best for you.

When and how did it all started? When did it stop? When did they start again? Were they just messing around in a "that's what boys in boarding school do" - way? How did they handle their past-(relationship) after they just found themselves a wive and started New lives as "real men"? How did all this lead to the bathroom incident?

As discussed in-depth with @impishtubist, James and Sirius engaged in adolescent sexual exploration fairly early on in school—at thirteen/fourteen, they talk about how they’re always hard or something and then start giving each other advice on how to take care of it.

Maybe by fifteen, they’re helping each other out—but of course, it’s not queer when you’re helping out a friend (right?). By sixteen, they are constantly touching and sleeping in each other’s beds but they’ve “grown out” of mutual masturbation. Then, by sixth year, Sirius has moved in with the Potters and shares a room with James. Without privacy, they can hear the other getting off in the dark until finally, they’re having sex. Constantly. Any time James’s parents aren’t around, they’re just doing it. But it’s just what you DO. You play around with someone you trust, you don’t talk about it, and you don’t get caught.

Then James is pining after Lily, and she finally agrees to go out with him. James and Sirius are still sleeping together, but James eventually puts a stop to it, saying that they ought to grow up. This kills Sirius but he pretends to agree.

The story continues as it does in canon, except that Snape never hears the prophecy; therefore, Jily have Harry as normal. The only person who knows there’s a prophecy is Dumbledore, so it never comes true. After Lily falls pregnant, Sirius knows that he’ll never have James now. I wonder if he kisses James as a last “this is what we could have” and James tells him firmly that “those days” are over, and now they’ve got to grow up. Sirius is devastated. He’s been sleeping with the Auror Marlene McKinnon—a witch who is nearly ten years his senior—and decides that the only way to show James that he’s grown up is to marry.

Marlene is politically-minded. Loving but also calculating. Sirius has a strong, influential name but also possesses the reputation of being vehemently anti-Voldemort, so she’s happy to marry Sirius. And they have a few good years together! He likes her—he definitely feels love towards her, maybe something like a best friend, and it’s all very fine.

the rec list that no one asked for or wanted, including shameless self-promotion

fall by mintokohi summary: “Just go home, Highness.”  “How? I don’t know where I am…” “Get Yamaguchi to drive you.”“He’s spending time with Yachi. And Hinata’s busy. And I don’t know anyone else.” A sniffle. “And it’s cold.” Kageyama’s voice has reduced to a piteous whine and Kei wants to strangle him. “Fine… Just—don’t move.”

floating like a vapor by diarahans summary: It’s hard for Kageyama to reconcile the person in his dreams (Kei, a little prickly even when he’s sweet, holds his hand) with the person that he sees at school everyday (Tsukishima, cold and distant, won’t touch him at all), but sometimes if he’s not paying attention, he’ll forget that there’s any difference between them at all. “Is there something wrong, your highness?” Tsukishima sneers when he catches Kageyama watching him during practice.“No,” Kageyama says, shifting his focus to the space in between his shoes instead. “It’s nothing.”

View From Under the Crown by EzzyDean summary: The day his teammates abandoned him he had sat down with his journal spread open on his lap, sure he’d fill a dozen pages with the thoughts crowding in his mind, and stared at the blank page, eyes glazing over and pencil hanging loosely in his fingers for hours until his legs were nearly numb from sitting so long and the sun low on the horizon had turned into the moon high in the sky. The words wouldn’t come.  It was like someone had stuck a cork in his mind.He tried.  Again and again.  Weeks went by and he’d open his journal and settle onto his bed.  Only to wake up in the morning grumpy and tired, empty, crumpled pages mocking him from the floor. He stopped trying.

Of Snow Storms and Stranded Cars by notquiteintoxicated (esviege) summary: Kageyama was obviously one of those people who got cold easily, and while Tsukishima would gladly torment Kageyama on the worst of days, even he wouldn’t stoop so low as to let another person freeze to death if he had any way to prevent it. Of course, he didn’t imagine that ‘any way to prevent it’ included cuddling, of all things.

Soulmark AU series by shivadyne summary: Everyone has a mark on their body that’s meant to signify an important time in their soulmate’s life. Unluckily for Kageyama and Tsukishima, they share each others’ marks.

The Moon and the Star by Ravensoul summary: The Celebrity/Paparazzi AU nobody asked for, but fit KageTsuki so perfectly I couldn’t resist. Kageyama is the “King of the Court,” rumored to be the best setter to ever join one of Japan’s most elite men’s volleyball teams. Tsukishima is an irritating thorn in his side, an overly persistent journalist and photographer for Karasuno Monthly Sports Magazine who turned up at his bedroom window one night and somehow became a constant in Kageyama’s life.

soft sides by artenon summary: In which animals like Tsukishima but not Kageyama, it’s raining, and there’s a kitten.  It’s just a little ridiculous—who would have thought Kageyama of all people would have a soft spot for kittens?

fairy lights (and the wires that connect me to you) by vagarius summary: It’s cold, maybe. Probably. Kei doesn’t really feel anything.

It’s a Fake Dating Fic by Redleaveshavefallen summary: I am just not going to pull any punches here.

it’s hard to volleyball by keptein summary: He watched Tsukishima a few more times before exhaling. “You’re still doing it wrong.” Tsukishima stopped in the middle of a throw and turned to him, eyes like flints behind the glass. “Fuck off, Kageyama.”Kageyama gritted his teeth and took his messenger bag off his shoulder. “Do you want me,” he said slowly, each word only brought forth by a mental image of Daichi’s disappointed face, “to show you?”

Punch Your Lips by EzzyDean summary: “I’m sorry but I was told to punch you in the face. I don’t know why but they’re giving me 20$ to do this. If you can make a better offer I won’t do it tho.” AU “I always figured I’d get punched one day.  I just thought I’d be worth more than twenty bucks.”