Shenanigans

Today morning was a heavy one.

Mum came into my room and said: “I’m very sad.”

Knowing her, I had pre-conceived thoughts that it’s probably some minuscule matters such as not striking lottery, not being able to fulfil some random appointment, so on.

“I just got to know that my best friend passed away 3 years ago from cancer.”

I had to process this information for a bit. This was a best friend that my mum constantly mentioned over the years, but her greatest regret was to lose contact with her. Nobody knew how she led her life, and sometimes life just consumes us - work, spouse, kids, everything.

“I bumped into her younger brother today morning, and got to know about it. So many years I’ve been trying to look for her and this is the only update I got.”

I remember years back, we tried to search her up on social media, when my mum first started her Instagram account. That gave her a glimpse of hope that she would be able to reconnect with her best friend. But to her dismay, we were unable to find any traces. Knowing my mum, she just decided to give up, and life goes on.

“I tried all ways and means wanting to keep in contact with her. I gave her my house number, my mobile when I first got it in the 90s, everything. But I did not hear from her. So it left me wondering all this time, whether she was okay.”

“Mummy, maybe she had her battles to fight. But I do hope that she had a good life before she passed.”

I could see the lingering sadness, all the regret. So many questions unanswered. So many kopi sessions they could have had. So many life updates… only left to be buried.

Mum then started to reminisce the past with her best friend, and one core memory was how her best friend told my dad to cherish my mum, because she’s a “fish that’s hard to catch”. Did that materialise? Not really. But it was something that my mum held with pride; her best friend knowing her, well, best. Because mum’s character had crumbled and weakened over the many years, but her best friend will remember her as how my mum truly was - a strong, stubborn, grounded woman who will not let anyone trample her all over. A mum that I’ll probably not recognise, but I do wish she had preserved.

Hello Auntie, I hope you had a good life before you passed. Just wanted to let you know that my mum missed you dearly over the many years you both lost touch, and even more so now that you’re gone. I hope you can pay her a visit in her dreams, perhaps a toast to your friendship.

来生再做好朋友吧。