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self - induced state of shock renders daewon absolutely stunned , speechless as he stares wide - eyed at maeri who rambles with utmost enthusiasm , not realising she’s further driving the dagger he’d pierced through his own gut deeper down . how could he be so stupid ? confession of hidden sentiment should not arise from a place of jealousy —– oh , how he despises the way his face must give him away at this point , heat of his humiliation surely turning him beet red . it’s all he can do to look away , pretend like that’ll somehow take him out of this situation . he remains tight - lipped for as long as he can , gaze downcasted and twiddling his thumbs to occupy his nervous energy ; she lures him in , literally , and he can’t escape her —– not that he ever truly would want to , but air is knocked from his lungs and skin pales when she beckons him closer . ‘ um … ’ fool , fool , fool —– echoes of self - deprecation daunt him from within his headspace as he tries to smile , but curve resembles more of an awkward grimace instead . interrogation goes on as daewon finds himself caving in at least to one of her demands , now perched up at the very edge of the mattress , practically ready to slip off at any moment —- feet still planted firm on the floor , facing away from her as he stares forward at wall on the other side of the room . surely his silence must give her some kind of clue , but perhaps the idea was simply too far - fetched for her to grasp —– let it be known that he is not afraid to tell her , per say , but moreso afraid of what it might do to their friendship . he could face rejection ; hell , he’s faced far worse than having affections not be reciprocated but he doesn’t want the awkward tension that would inevitably follow . because he needs her , can’t stand the thought of losing her because of a silly little crush . ‘ it’s nothing … it’s no one . i mean … i don’t think they feel the same way about me anyway , so i just need to get over it . which i will ! just … not through tinder or any other of those weird dating apps . ’
she still wore heartbreak on the surface. however, the male before her presented a temporary light to the dark tunnel of melancholy. something he’d always unconsciously offered her and she yearned to reciprocate that same light. the words echo, sink and then dissipate. she pauses, lip caught between teeth. the silence that followed was enormous. perhaps attributed to her sensitivity to him, she was able to detect in his tone that there was something more he was holding onto; something that weighed heavily on him behind the cage of his teeth. ‘ but ... ’ she’ll trail off, unsure of the end of her question and deciding to disregard it all together as she lifts her hand to brush a few strands of hair behind her left ear. ‘ daewon, i’m sure that whoever they are they probably don’t deserve you anyway. ’ her voice lowers, ‘ but i think it wouldn’t hurt to tell them, you know ? i doubt they don’t feel the same way. you’re, like, a total catch. ’ tries her best to save face, being stern with her tone, but she can’t help it as a simper pulls at her lips. memories of them as little kids flood back then, so vibrant it feels like it was just yesterday when maeri couldn’t half imagine her best friend with another, and she’s filled with a sense of heartfelt nostalgia that simultaneously makes her heart ache. standing up from the mattress, her lips press together as she inhales slowly through her nose and allows her eyes to lift to meet his. ‘ and if all else fails, you’ll always have me, ’ she’ll utter softly, rising up on the tips of her toes to press a kiss to the male’s cheek before she returns to the flats of her feet.
winner winner
doe - eyed gaze remains intent upon his mien , cautious to every move he makes —– a fine line between them now blurred as genuine laughter spills from roseate brims . the sound momentarily frees her from the imprisonment of doubt and even if it might last just a second , a minute —– there he is , the boy she fell in love with : flaws & all , she’d adored him with every fiber of her being , without fail . the silliness that would often send her in a fit of giggles , reminding her of the pure joy she once felt just to be by his side . ‘ wow , i’m super impressed ! ’ enthuses zoey , who can’t help but smile at his antics ; she almost forgets why space is needed , now fighting the urge to be closer to him . ‘ either way … you need to get washed up . you reek , jae . ’ sweet soul doesn’t ever mean to offend , playful lilt to her voice makes certain to convey this , but the relief to otherwise encumbered atmosphere proves temporary , short - lived and she finds herself lost in a wistful haze once again . convoluted conscience temporarily seized by act of touch , sending her back into a sea of nostalgia —— and it feels like she’s drowning , eyes watering as her heart beats at a frenzied rate , his fingertips setting fire to honeyed skin and fragile bone . ‘ you can stay , jae , ’ whispered words are a secret plea : don’t leave , because who knows when he’ll be back —– a desperation for the old him has trembling digits taking hold of fabric within his grasp , tugging until garment slips back to tiled floor . ‘ i know i put up a fight but … you know you’re always welcome here . ’
bemused smile turns up at the corners of his lips as she plays right into his joke, evoking a sense of comfort only she could. it took him back, briefly, to a better time. but it was as if his conscience refused to let him reminisce long enough for him to feel even so much as a minuscule amount of happiness —- momentary bliss fading fast. gaze remains fixated on her as she speaks, her m e l l i f l u o u s voice bouncing around inside his skull and drenching his consciousness in something syrupy and sweet. ‘ zoey, no. ’ voice is low, trembling almost. pulse quick, he silently searches her visage for any indication that she could tell just how rapidly his heart was thumping. ‘ it’ll be the same. by tomorrow i’ll just be disappointing you again. you know this just as well as i do. ’ it was no secret that he had a drinking problem, be it peaceful and calm as it was when he was with her. even if his dependency hadn’t often resulted in violence or obvious negativity towards her, he’d still been using it to curb himself. to hide the inner pieces of himself that he wasn’t sure how to deal with otherwise. the pieces of himself that zoey somehow could still always see. ‘ i’m sorry i keep doing this to you. keep walking back into your life when i have lost my right to a long fucking time ago. so don’t let me. tell me to leave. please. ’

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times like these make her wish she could feel guilty , truly , yet shamelessness has been ingrained into her bones . places her pride over everything else ——— admitting that she did something wrong is out of the question . and it’s not like she actually does blame herself , anyway , doing what she has to in order to solidify her own future has always been her only goal , even at the sacrifice of supposedly happy families . ‘ you’re right . ’ sits up the utterance , condescending in the way that bottom lip sticks out at him . ‘ should i go tell her now , then ? should we get this over with so poor benji can start damage controlling sooner rather than later ? ’
often he wondered what she was saying. if the words were meant for him. if she had even spoken them at all. for far too many times this week he’d heard gracie’s voice in the confinement of his solitude, of his own head. to be sure, to be completely and utterly positive that her words were her own was i n f e a s i b l e. eyes flicker in the girl’s direction from where he resides, hunched over as he sits on the side of the mattress, head propped lazily in his hands. ‘ why are you so fucking evil ? what have i ever done to you ? ’ tone is guttural; a plea for help, for relief from the burn she’s intentionally branded him with. digits cling tightly to his knees, nails digging in his own flesh without so much as a wince.
it’s no secret that he’s a little more socially awkward than most , yet familiarity is a balm to his anxieties that make skin crawl and the urge to flight immense , fingertips gripping on the edges of his hoodie sleeves . and the accusation of stalking has him balking in response , spluttering denials because he really wasn’t , he was just on his way to the store and happened to see her ——— maybe they live close by each other , it’d make sense with their paths crossing at the hospital . ‘ hey , i could say the same to you . what are you doing here ? ’ perceptive hues fall on the oxygen tank once more , never putting two and two together . for something of a genius , he invariably misses emotional cues , brain nailing logic and failing whenever it came to sentiments . ‘ i was just going to get groceries , but … do you need help carrying that ? ’
she’ll pull her gaze up with concerted efforts, her eyes meeting his as they fought the urge to wander. and then, helplessly, the corner of her lips turned up in a smile. it seemed she was always smiling around him, a fact not lost on her. ‘ i live here, actually. ’ head turns to map out her route past him, conscience urging her to walk away; leave secrets untethered and questions unanswered. long brunette locks fall forward slightly to cover her face as her vision moved to the oxygen tank. ‘ no. ’ her reaction was prompt, teeth worrying in the softness of her inner cheek. ‘ i mean ... no, thanks. i was just about to go to the pie shop. do you like pies ? if you don’t then they also have milkshakes. fifteen different flavors. ’ talks a lot in general but being placed in an unfamiliar situation only aggravates her desire to fill any silence, any lapse in conversation.
regret pools in the pit of her stomach , uncertainty leaving her rigid , tension fermenting itself within bones . the inquiry rings like a vicious chiding between her ears , and she wants nothing more than to disappear . entangled in a web of her own mistakes , the benevolent soul she prided herself in being seemingly gone with the wind , and left in her place : an angel with a false halo , buried under the weight of her sin . ‘ i don’t know , ’ mickey confesses with her state of vulnerability causing timbre to quiver . forbidden is the territory she walks upon , mind reeling with the memory of what might be better left forgotten . ‘ i’m not … this person , soren . i —– i love him . ’ but does she really ? forced to ask herself yet another loaded question : ryan is good , kind , treats her right and it’s the healthy relationship she’s been seeking for years after certain misfortunes of her past , but the spark missing , she’d unprecedentedly found in the one she currently faces . ‘ honestly , i just … felt like i needed to see you . but that’s ridiculous , isn’t it ? we —- we’re nothing . we just had too much to drink … right ? and i was so tired , delirious even . ’ thinking out loud , fabricating excuses that simply taste like lies on her own tongue ; she’s made up her mind to fix this —- even though she didn’t exactly feel like anything had been truly broken . ‘ just wanted to make sure we’re on the same page —– that we’ll move on from this like it never happened . ’
soren’s had girlfriends in the past. had relationships of all sorts that were supposed to comprise of feelings like this; of warmth and comfort deeply rooted within the bones of another. but they never had. he’s unsure of what he’s going to say, still unsure how to come to terms with the fact that she was here within his grasp. ‘ is that it ? you came here to tell me that i’m just one big fucking mistake ? the biggest regret of your life ? is that what you came here to tell me ? ’ every syllable that had escaped the lips he so longed for was another strike to his ego. it had him in two parts; on one hand, even with the simplest touch he wanted more. ached to have more of her beneath the pads of his fingertips. on the other hand, his chest still ached from a wound she’d so g r a c i o u s l y opened. ‘ yeah, mickey, we’re on the same fucking page, alright. ’ his tone is exasperated, matching that of a bothersome toddler as he speaks. a diminutive groan follows suit not long after, fingers digging into his eye in an attempt to somehow rub his fatigue away. ‘ did you have any other fascinating revelations in store for me ? ’ chuckle follows his rhetorical query, broad shoulders shifting into an obnoxiously nonchalant shrug.
astute cognizance is quick to register what’s occurring , recognising the signs of the allergic reaction and it’s not necessarily panic that burns through him , but an urgent onset of concern . ‘ damn it , ’ is more so toward himself , for not inquiring beforehand if she had any food allergies , which of course is common practise in regards to the career he’s pursuing , but he regretfully didn’t think to apply it here . thankfully , relief is found when she notifies him of epipen in her bag , one that justin doesn’t risk any hesitation in locating —– and he’ll follow through with instructions , not exactly needing to read them considering he’s considerably well - versed in this particular circumstance . as soon as needle breaks through clothes & skin of her thigh , he’ll watch her carefully , waiting for the symptoms to simmer down . and as they begin to , the epipen works its magic through her system , an exasperated sigh filters past his brims and justin’s shoulders sulk , utterly disappointed in his lack of attentiveness . ‘ juno , i’m so sorry . what —- what are you allergic to ? was it the peanut butter ? i’m so stupid , i should’ve asked you … ’ fingertips graze over her skin as hives begin to dwindle , a frown turning down the edges of his lips . ‘ you alright ? here , have some water . ’ letting go of her arm to offer her a sip from his waterbottle : not yet opened , thus unquestioanbly safe for her intake .
a stab and a few tense moments later, juno’s breathing evened out —- taking a few hesitant sips of air graciously. there’s heat beneath his touch, sets her alight as he drags pads of his fingers across her skin and she yearns to feel it elsewhere, everywhere. his words disappear as his fleeting caress occupies the entirety of her mind —- full thought, front and center. ‘ what ? ’ she’ll pause, gaze at him for a moment. ‘ no. ’ head shakes frantically, eyes widening momentarily. ‘ no, it’s not your fault. it’s mine. i— ’ confession resides on the tip of her tongue, voice experiencing a slight rasp as her lesser brim is drawn between her teeth. ‘ i saw the peanut butter before i took a bite. i just didn’t wanna say no because you went through all that trouble to make it for me and i’ve already been disappointing you enough by being dumb and forgetful and not paying attention. i just don’t wanna ... keep on disappointing you. ’

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer | 7x03 - “Same Time, Same Place”
“Do you want to have dinner here? It’ll be a handmade dinner.”
Boyfriends and girlfriends are gonna come and go, but this is for life.

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