Ruined Dove

Years ago I had this fantasy that a man would own me and in doing so would strip me of my name and give me a new one. He would name me and I would put my former life behind me and fulfill that new name.

Like everything else in my life now, I must do it myself. It sounds odd to anyone who is not fundamentally slave- but it’s deeply depressing to have to choose my own new name. I suppose in a way it is a right of passage into this new life where I am independent and strong and non-submissive.

I dream, I wish, just once in my life a man would say this to me.

But now i wonder if that is unrealistic. He is human; he is apt to make mistakes and to be flawed. So my question is, is safety in complete surrender an impossibility?

I don’t believe I will ever be a slave again.

When I look at my tattoo now, I’m sad but I’m not sorry. Deep down I will always be a slave. And it has always been a deeply significant part of who I am; who I was.

FUCKING.

Not wanting your spouse to fall in love with someone else does not make you “insecure”.

Being monogamous doesn’t make me loved any less than anyone else is. Every second of my life is overflowing with love. I don’t need his presence or interaction to have his love.

I respect polyamory, but don’t disrespect monogamy. It’s not about “insecurity”, and I shouldn’t have to justify my desired relationship/family structure to anyone.